Time flies, Time crawls.

April was hectic. I didn't see my husband for almost a month and that was a real torture. Time crawls like a snail. Therefore, we decided to take 4 days off when May came. I did applied for a leave but my boss did not approve it, apparently, for no reason.

Husband arrived on Wednesday's night. I shook and kiss his hand and I smelled the smell I miss. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt contented just to see his face, knowing he would be by my side although only for a short time. He treated my parents and I a delicious dinner and after a long time, I had a really mouthful dinner. Even my baby moved excitedly that night.

I had good time when he was around. To wake up and see his face was a true bliss. To sleep in his arms makes me feel secure than ever. We spent time eating, watching tv, went out, shopping, sleeping, bathing, pillow-talking, praying, and did every single thing together. It was all beautiful. We are like magnets. Our baby seemed to enjoy his father companion as well. He moved at 6 in the morning, and knowing that his father was still sleeping and snoring, I think he went back to sleep too.  

How fast time flies. 4 days of break was too short for me. I want to spend longer time with him.
The baby also felt sad. He didn't move much when his father went back to KL. He worried me to death for being a little passive than usual. I touched, pushed, slapped my tummy to feel him moving. He did, but the move was not energetic like usual. as if he was grieving bidding farewell to the father.

dear husband,
I hope you read this. Me and baby are missing you, badly. hope to see you soon.


lots of love,
wifey & baby.

shopping baby's clothing

I have bought pretty much all the basic items needed for the baby. I become so excited just looking at the baby's stuffs in the store. Which mom doesn't? Baby's stuffs are too cute too be true. I can spend hours in the baby store, looking, analyzing, picking, and choosing the best items for my baby.

My favourite baby store is of course, Mothercare. They offers a wide range of choices especially in clothing. I bought most of the baby's clothes there. Rompers, sleep suits, socks, mittens, towels, muslins, you name it. Even my husband likes it too. Maybe I am prone to Mothercare because of its design. Apart from looking too cute, the material is the best too!

H&M baby also looks exclusive in my eyes. I got several pairs of long sleeves rompers at a real cheap price. When I went to Sunway Pyramid last April, my sister went crazy shopping clothes for her newborn as well. We didn't even snap a single picture because we were just too busy shopping!

In terms of breastfeeding, I haven't bought anything yet. I have done some research, read reviews on the internet, and ask from the experienced friends. Maybe I'll get them all by this month. In Shaa Allah...

I can't wait to go for more shopping. Dear holiday, please come fast!


pen-shopping,
FMS.

school holiday was a little dull

today is Monday and it feels like heaven when I don't have to rush when I woke up. 

Despite the heaven-ness feeling, I somewhat feel that this holiday was a little dull. Husband's work demands his attention more than I do. Did I just say more than I do? I need more of his attention, actually. But I can tolerate, his work cannot. I wanna go out more often. I know he is exhausted to cope with his workload and his manja wife at the same time. Men, they are just bad in multitasking. To be frank, I am frustrated. Of all the time, why must during this school holiday that he has to work to death? 

You see, I treasure the time to meet and spend time with him because we are the weekend husband and wife. When things like this happen, I feel terribly down. I want to entertain myself by going out at malls, but my car is not here. Can you feel me? I feel hollow and empty. This is not what I expect it to be. 

I just want to be with him. He is my husband and I just want to have him all by myself. That's all. 

pen-sunyi,

FS. 

good to have you around

this morning husband made me a cup of hot milo. and he cooked for lunch as well. the dishes are simple yet they are all very inviting. simply delicious. 

i feel blessed to have him around. 

thank you Allah. 

pencinta sayang,

FS 

better half

I think
my tummy has grown obvious.
people have started to notice my baby bump.
I feel excited about this.
I feel proud being an expectant mother.
This is the most amazing experience I have ever felt so far.

I am still counting days for holidays.
I want to be with my husband,
to have every meal with him.
to sleep on the same bed.
to watch the TV together.
to go out and watch movies.
to hang out with our buddies.
above all else,
to share what I am experiencing now with him.

My work is not a walk in a park. No profession is.
I only enjoyed taking the course for 6 years.
But the reality hits me really hard.
I don't enjoy teaching, I never did.
I am struggling to adjust myself at my workplace.
To find the little comfort in the midst of agony.
So that I can have that little peace as a drive to teach.

But it seems like every element in this place denies my efforts.
Everything I do goes wrong or things never really go my way.
No one tries to understand nor did I seek sympathy from the people.
A little of humanity act should do.
My world cripples each passing day.
I am sinking in and I am on the edge of breaking down.

They said I am strong.
Deep inside, I am hurt badly.
I cry when I go to sleep.
Hoping that my husband would accompany me.
But most mornings, I wake up and find myself all alone.
I begin to lose hope.
The faith that I hold on to begin to perish.

I know I didn't perform in classes.
I wanted to but I just don't have the drive.

There is nothing much I could do.
Hopeless. Helpless.

For all I need is him.

All I need is my Shamel Ali. 
For he is
my BETTER-HALF.


better-half,
FS