September 6, 2008

how i hate myself

I hate that you changed.
I hate that you’re the same.
I hate that you ignored.
I hate how you’ve stayed.
I hate how I cry.
I hate how you make me smile.
I hate how I miss you.
I hate how I feel.
I hate how it hurts.
I hate that it’s my fault.
I hate that it’s yours.
I hate that I can’t be around you.
I hate how I’ve found out who you truly are.
I hate that I can’t tell you any of this.
But most of all, I hate how I can’t hate you,
Not even a little.
I hate how I still love you.

September 5, 2008

love triangle

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind

There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows

While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good

I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem

I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

July 27, 2008


Every night I fall asleep
Thinking of you
Till you appear in my dreams
And we’re together again

Until I wake up
Saying your name
And though
I wish I could have you
And that you love me like
I love you.

Yet I fight these feelings
I fight the pain
To still be with you
No matter it is sunny or in the rain

Though days be passing by
And every night I shed my tears
Because I cant help it any longer
And I’m not stronger as I used to be

You become my weakness
Unbearable sadness
Has overshadowed my happiness
I become so weak, so helpless.

This is the strongest feeling
A girl or anyone could have in the heart
This is the way I feel
And I will remain the way I am
Even though I am so hurt inside.

July 16, 2008

somewhere i belong

Bought a ticket for a runaway train.
Like a mad woman laughing at the rain.
Little out of touch, little insane.
It is just easier than dealing with pain.
Wrong way on a one way track.
Seems like I should be getting somewhere.
Somehow I’m neither here nor there.