March 28, 2016

all or nothing

everytime i see you.. 
you don't know how my adrenal glands are producing so much epinephrine that is taking over my body this very second, making my blood vessels constrict, my heart pumping blood rapidly and my lungs take in air at a higher rate. every cell of my body is calling out your name & i am paradox. i am so alive but i feel like dying.

i don't understand why you have so much control over my emotions, you make me feel so much while you probably feel nothing.


March 18, 2016


fcking terribly affected by this .. 

March 16, 2016

dont die just yet

hidup ni memang palat,
tapi esok masih ada. 

kalau kau hidup lagi lah esok.
sebenarnya yang betul-betul kau ada ialah SEKARANG. 

spark off

what if it dies along the way?

you have no choice. 
you gotta live with it anyway.

yours truly,
conflicted heart. 

March 10, 2016

unstable af

today i feel like writing. 

a week has flown by slow. i feel like it has been ages since everything has changed. and i have been feeling lonely and empty ever since, frankly. 

i have been wondering of so many whys. and i'm figuring out still. what kind of test is this? most of all, i feel unfair when i dont have the chance to choose even at the first place. fate already did for me. 

i am unstable af now. i dont know how i will endure this alone. 

it was brief yet it was the longest in my mind. 
in those littlest things i secretly cherish, 
i still found happiness in this agony. 
although it would only last for 10 seconds before the reality slaps me, 
it matters. 
because you matter. 

was once your bae.