March 22, 2010

stranded in a beautiful paradise

when i said,
time flies. i mean it.
time really flies fast. i hate it.

it has been long since i last feel this way.
a feeling that is beyond words to describe.
the one that is for me to embrace,
keep and celebrate.

being there is a bliss.
an infinite one, eternal.
...irony. it does not last long.

i wish for a little more time.
to be there.

it was a paradise.
indeed, a beautiful one.

*extending my hearfelt gratitude and thanks to C and A*

enjoy being with you,

March 19, 2010

please stay, don't go.

the sky is crying.
but i like it..

i missed
the smell of it.
and the taste of it..

i miss to walk in the rain,

March 18, 2010






barula terasa nak mamam. ngee~ :D

si mengade-ngade,

March 17, 2010



thank you.

gone insane,

spoken vs written

i've written this one year ago, if i'm not mistaken.
and i've posted it in my facebook notes.

i feel like putting it here.

so, here it goes.


what is spoken flies;
somehow or rather, it remains.
spoken is associated with nonverbal elements.
the smiles, the frowns, the winks,
the intonation, the body gestures are somehow is captured and stored in our mind.

what is written remains.
it doesn't fly, yet words are only words.
it stays as a document.
it is not important on how it is presented.
written can be manipulated. we can't see truth in writings.
we can't see smiles or frowns, we can't see anger, love or resentment.

spoken or written,
one flies and one stays,
the face you see and the words you read,
is everything that important anyway.

what are faces, what are words,
when meaning is absent,
everything becomes nothing...

indisicive as always,

March 16, 2010

jiwa kacau

tak tenang.
tak tahu kenape.
tak suke. ):

time flies

time flies like an arrow,
fruit flies like a banana...

time really flies fast, unrealized.

now, it is the middle of march.
only now i realized i'm getting closer to the final exam. *clears throat*
tons of assignment need to be done and submitted before the exam starts.
must stay in DL.must stay...

need more efforts.must put more efforts.

my room is a mess.=.='
this happens, towards the end of every semester.

i wish time could slowdown its speed.
or perhaps i could turn back time.
must be fun and helpful if i have the 'click' remote... :D

so little time yet so many things to do.

yours truly,

March 15, 2010

Get Wet

first of all,

i’m so sorry.

i know i promise to update you always about my days spent at Pangkor but i failed to keep my promise.

time spent was too precious that i have second thought of updating everything straight away of i had done there. one thing after another made 3 days being there feel so short.

ironically, nothing much i did there but drenching myself in the wide sea.

again, i felt the soft sand between my toes. i like how it felt, the feeling that i have long yearned for. i carved a smile. i love to see my footsteps along the seashore. i think they’re cute. they are what i called a natural art. but i felt sad the moment the waves washed it away. *sob sob*

i love to look at the view of the sea and of course the island itself. i enjoy sunrise and sunset views very much but sadly to say, i watched none at Pangkor due to overslept and tiredness. =.=’

the boat trip was fun. i love the harshness of the breeze. if i have to express how it felt, i would say that it was seductive. the sea water is clear enough to see those beautiful creatures and corals. i bent my body to see them, but what i saw was my shadow instead. i laughed. Oh, i need to focus! after a few attempts, then i managed to see them and captured a photo of them. as much as i love beaches, i don’t snorkel. i am scared and i don’t know why. but i do swim. (what’s the difference?)

looking for the end of the sea and failed to find one makes me realized that i still have a long way to go. i still have a lot more to experience. but all are beyond the eyes can see. nobody knows what the future holds. even to those who wear eyeliners. (huh¿)

i had seafood for lunch and dinner. i don’t know what the name of the recipe was nor i ever care how it was cooked but i fancied the crab very much. i ate and ate and ate until i realized everyone else had finished eating. well, it reminds me the time i lived in Sabah before whereby seafood is a must as my main course.

Oh yes. i got small cuts. one is under my left toe and another one is on my left elbow. my body is aching and i am tired because of the long journey and packed activities.

Though, remember all the moments there, the tiredness and pain left me…

vacation worshiper,

March 13, 2010

fantasy, eh¿

before i went to sleep last night,
i planned to see the sun-rise view this morning but i was overslept.
mommy & daddy went for a morning walk. i promised them to be ready before they came back.

so, i started imagining myself,
wrapped my body with towel and went into the shower.
jumped into the short-pant and a white t-shirt, and bring pario along.

"‘hey! wake up! wake up!’
people are waiting for breakfast at the cafe, you know…"

*mommy keeps nagging*

and i simply ignored it. lalalala~
*went into the shower*

oh, now i realized.
all that was what i think i would do, but i am not doing it actually. =.=’
haha. funny!

si suke berimaginasi,

March 12, 2010



dear lostpinkdiary,

i am safely arrived at Pangkor Island.
unlike sah halam, it’s cold here for it has been raining since 5pm.

i think i like being here.
will update you always. i promise.
gotta go. need to fill my tummy.

~signing off~

holidays lover,

The Law of F.A.R.A : V.Hanne

it has been long since the last entry..

what to write?
what to write?
what to write? the title.

start writing.
start writing.
start writing.

first of all,

  1. Don’t invite me for 3some. I don’t do 3some. (why this is the 1st thing I listed?) =.=’

  2. Do take your time. I like long foreplay. (why this is the 2nd thing I listed?) =.=’

  3. Don’t be too hardcore. I only get wild once in a blue moon. (why this is the 3rd thing I listed?) =.=’

  4. Do switch off the light. I love to take it nice and slow. (again? I’m not horny, ain’t i?) O.O

  5. Okay. this I need not tell…
    I shouldn’t tell…
    I MUST NOT tell…
    It’s for you to discover. LOL

  6. Don’t be shy. Because I am one. If both of us are shy, then who’s gonna start the move?

  7. Don’t be afraid. Because I won’t bite. I promise you.

  8. Don’t forget to ask for my phone number. Because I am not going to ask for yours.

  9. Don’t take too long because I don’t like waiting.

  10. What am I trying to convey here?
    Ways how to tackle NFHMS? =.=’

    Pardon the title. I just feel like writing.
    I want to write whatever comes to my mind now. And this is it. This is what I have in mind.
    So, don’t laugh.

  11. Be straight forward. Before I get you wrong.

  12. Feel free to hug and kiss me. I love to be hugged. I love to be kissed.

  13. Do sweet-talking me. I don’t mind. I love seeing pigs fly. LOL

  14. Seize the opportunity. So, please ask for more. ;p

hmm…it seems this entry is for the eyes of the men.

No! No! No!
This is not a self-promoting entry.

It is just an entry.
An entry that is not worth reading…

Ignore this post.
Because if you don't, I might end up blushing in front of you…ngee~

yang pemalu,

March 5, 2010

damn you!

oh no! oh yes.. *sigh*

my mobile phone is not functioning.
since a few minutes ago.
great! bless me! bless me..

not now baby..pweesh...
i'm not planning to get a new one.
because i am running out of money. $.$
don't you understand me?!

why now..

can't you see how broken i am
without you... T.T

new mobile phone is needed.
please throw me one..

not a technology maniac,

of fara.sara.laila.


define identity.
it covers names, appearance, and... _____. *complete yourself*

most people call me fara.
obviously,that's my name. my actual name.
name as written in my birth certificate, identity card, and license.

as fara,
i have my own style of being myself.
my own dress codes.
my own way of talking; talking to ladies and gentlemen.
my own way of walking.

people change.things revolve.

i remembered of a time.
a time when i got a new name; sara.
this happened last year.
my friends and i went clubbing on one night.a wild night,i should say.
spotted at one corner, sat 3 Londoners.
the conversation began:

him: alone?
me: no.there (pointing my finger to my companions) my friends.
him: where are you from?
me: here.sabah. (avoiding long explanation) you?
him: london.

*awkward silence and out-of-tempo dance*

me: what's your name?
him: grace.
me: *thinking* isn't that name suits better for a girl?
him: you?
me: fara.
him: what?
me: fara.
him: pardon?
me: fara.
me: *nodding* yeah...sara. =.='
..not planning to teach him phonetics in a club..

enough about sara.
let's move on to Laila.

this is funny.
i got this name just recently.last week,to be exact.

Laila is a main character in the movie 'Niyang Rapik' who is actually dead.Feeling annoying for she keeps repeating the same line
"kenapa abang tinggalkan Laila?" in that movie, i did the same to my friends; male friends. it's kinda scary to that. it is as if i was talking sincerely from my heart.. LOL

and the next morning i went to a module.
hating it, i was playful enough on that day.i introduced my name as Laila during the ice breaking session.
and now, the new people i know during the module called me Laila. =.='

i am here.
as fara.sara.laila.

whatever you may call,
i am me.
with the same style of being myself.
the manje one.the perasan one.
the fragile one.the little crazy one.

the attractive one? ;p *hmm*,

natural sauna


mmm..repeating it for several times,
i feel like laughing.

i love sauna.seriously.

sauna benefits us in many ways.
especially for our health.
says asthma, bronchitis, joints pain, and yadda.yadda.yadda.
it helps reducing all the bad bacterias/viruses/elements
and providing us some relief.

i have one at my house.
everytime i use it for 15minutes, i lose 1kg.
yeah...that's the actual reason why i love it. ^_^

sah halam (cuter when i pronounced it this way kan? kan?) is a natural sauna.

but i dislike it.
indeed, i hate it.

i don't like going to the class with wet armpits. *jatuh saham! ;p*
sweats stream all over the body.
from the forehead to the neck down to the cleavage.
from the hips to the between two legs down to the knees.
it makes me really uncomfortable and i feel like taking off my clothes...

all of my friends have been complaining about this hotness they face day and nights.
despite agreeing to the hotness during daytime,i disagreed about the nights for i always feel chill during my sleep.

but last night,
the hotness had proved me wrong.i was sweating like hell.sweating like while you're having sex,you know.i can't take it anymore
and ended up sleeping on the floor...=.='


this weather is killing me.
in Finland, sauna is a place for a woman to give birth. O.O

si tak suke sah halam,

March 2, 2010

module review : FEB 27th

Laila: Kenapa abang tinggalkan Laila?

Niyang Rapik was not that bad.
Overall, it was ok. I thought it was as scary as any other horror movie that involves ghost and whatsoever. I rather said it was a sad story. In a way, it reminds me of a chapter in my life.

Okay. I had to attend a module the next morning. But there I was, still lepaking at BunD at 3 a.m. Lazing and wasting time can be too good to be ended fast. =.=’

Despite lack of sleep, panda eyes, back aching, tiredness,
I pushed myself not to skip the module.
And so these are some pictures of me during the module.

time: 9.00 a.m
mode: oh fucking sleepy

time: 9.++ a.m
mode: camwhoring

time: during the speech (10.00 a.m, i guess)
mode: placing to sleep...look where i am.

time: afternoon
mode: sakit hati sebab panas sangat!

time: almost 2.00 p.m
mode: nak chrysanthemum tea lagi.
hero: hazwan.thanks for giving me you sayang!

time: 4.00 p.m
mode: @$#%$&^ bila nak habes ni?! >.<

si tak suke pegi module,

March 1, 2010

lupa diri

my back is aching.
all my joints are in pain.
can someone lessen my ouchies?

i sleep less.
i eat a lot.
i lack of rest.i need a good one.

enjoy saje.
pantang holidays, mulalah mengorak langkah.
ke sana ke mari.
dari utara ke selatan.
timur ke barat.
tipu sangat.

asal hari isnin je,
mula sakit sini sana.

sampai assignments pon kau lupa?

yours truly,



at first, i agreed to his request.
sebab aku blur dia called tiba-tiba.

*excited pon ade jugak* LOL
aku ingatkan pasal apalah kan.
suka betul kau men-spoil-kan mood aku. kan?
nak jugak suruh dia buat apa kau nak.

berbalik kepada jalan yang benar:
tapi lepas tu,
aku berfikir.
kenapa perlu aku buat apa yang dia suruh?
kenapa aku kena buat ini untuk korang?
kenapa kau pasti sangat itu dia? *kesian...she doesn't trust you.*

tak cukup ke semua yang aku dah korbankan?
you already took everything away from me. tak cukup?
aku pon dah jadi gila. tak cukup?
aku tak kacau kau. tak cukup?

anonymous can be anyone.
aku pun tak pasti siapa dia.
it can be a ‘he’ or a ‘she’
it can be myself or my admirer
it can be him or him or another him
it can be someone that i don’t know
it can be yiya.housemate aku tu gila sikit! tak, dia gila banyak.

coincidence happens.
don’t feel too insecure.not at the wrong place.wrong time.wrong person. enough doubt.
it doesn't bring any good.

kau kenapa?

ini blog aku.
sila jangan baca kalau rasa sakit hati.

tengok macam aku.
aku tak baca blog kau.
sebab aku tahu, kalau aku baca aku akan sakit hati.

aku bijak.
tapi kau, tidak.


i don’t think i will delete that comment.
that's my right. kau sakit hati, sakit hati sorang-sorang.

kau terasa?
sepuluh jari aku susun.
ampun maaf aku pohon.

thank you.