my feet. they were numb the moment i opened my eyes today. the room was still dark yet i heard a rooster yelled, giving everyone a wake up call. oh, it's morning already.
dizziness surrounded my heavy head. i looked into the mirror. my eyes swollen and my face was puffy. i look terrible.
i sighed and wondered, "what day is today?"
it is all same, old same. nothing much. i'm surrounded with boredom and loneliness. i'm still jobless, pennyless, and ugleh.
Showing posts with label cherries in a bowl. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cherries in a bowl. Show all posts
July 1, 2012
June 24, 2011
loving myself,
i decided to went out.alone...
so, i wandered around at shopping mall.alone..
there's a crazy sales going on at CP
but truth be told, nothing's interesting to me.
i bought some 'women stuff' that i really need at this moment.
i feel relieved because without it, my days will be disasters!
i stepped into the small spa,alone..
and got myself a nice manicure treatment. (:
and i love it!
i treated myself a grande of java chip
and read magazines at starbuck.alone..
and now,
as i'm writing this entry,
i'm still alone in this lonely room.
anyway,
i think i enjoyed my outing today. hee~
and
by the way,
mak & abah will be here tomorrow.can't wait!
signing off,
nfhms.
June 22, 2011
masih tidak aku berpijak pada bumi yang nyata.
hearing about practicum and academic exercise scares the shit out of me.
i'm scared if i couldn't cope up with both tasks.
i'm scared if i couldn't get an A for both.what more to impress my supervisor.
for once, i realized that i am not ready for this.
i feel the responsibility is far more too hard that i could ever imagine.
i don't feel i deserve to carry one.
it just don't suit me best.
and for once,
i realized that i am maybe a little bit too late to turn back.
stranded and lost,
nfhms.
i'm scared if i couldn't cope up with both tasks.
i'm scared if i couldn't get an A for both.what more to impress my supervisor.
for once, i realized that i am not ready for this.
i feel the responsibility is far more too hard that i could ever imagine.
i don't feel i deserve to carry one.
it just don't suit me best.
and for once,
i realized that i am maybe a little bit too late to turn back.
stranded and lost,
nfhms.
June 21, 2011
June 20, 2011
homesick
Once again, I’m returned to this place.
Nothing much changed here.
But it feels so different.
I’m homesick.
The day wasn’t started so well.
And it turned me off.
Damn.
I’m homesick.
‘HELL NO’ to the ridiculous rules.
I am no longer 18 year old girl.
I am 23.
That’s a big gap. Fool.
I’m homesick. I’m homesick. I’m homesick.
Save me.
Take me out from here.
stuck,
nfhms.
Nothing much changed here.
But it feels so different.
I’m homesick.
The day wasn’t started so well.
And it turned me off.
Damn.
I’m homesick.
‘HELL NO’ to the ridiculous rules.
I am no longer 18 year old girl.
I am 23.
That’s a big gap. Fool.
I’m homesick. I’m homesick. I’m homesick.
Save me.
Take me out from here.
stuck,
nfhms.
April 8, 2011
part 6 is a torture.
another week to go.
and i just can't wait to end this semester.
despite the fact that i have one paper for the final exam on the end of april,
i just want to stop rushing for classes in the morning.
speaking of classes,
i hate replacing classes.seriously.
with tons of assignments and other commitments,
i found replacing classes as a disturbance.
worst if it was an unplanned one.like you already planned what you're going to do at noon, suddenly in the morning you're told a replacement class is on that afternoon. =.='
practically,
we're done with a few course like Asian Literature, Methodology in Teaching Literature, and Second Language Acquisition. Though, we still have to come to class just to discuss a few things before this semester over.oh, except Asian Literature.we don't need to go to the class anymore yet there are still 3 assignments of the course need to be sent before our final paper.
that's for asian literature, and i'm not going to write about other KIV assessments for other subjects.thinking about them makes me tired,what more to talk about them.
si mengah,
nfhms.
and i just can't wait to end this semester.
despite the fact that i have one paper for the final exam on the end of april,
i just want to stop rushing for classes in the morning.
speaking of classes,
i hate replacing classes.seriously.
with tons of assignments and other commitments,
i found replacing classes as a disturbance.
worst if it was an unplanned one.like you already planned what you're going to do at noon, suddenly in the morning you're told a replacement class is on that afternoon. =.='
practically,
we're done with a few course like Asian Literature, Methodology in Teaching Literature, and Second Language Acquisition. Though, we still have to come to class just to discuss a few things before this semester over.oh, except Asian Literature.we don't need to go to the class anymore yet there are still 3 assignments of the course need to be sent before our final paper.
that's for asian literature, and i'm not going to write about other KIV assessments for other subjects.thinking about them makes me tired,what more to talk about them.
si mengah,
nfhms.
April 1, 2011
the haunted house
i'm afraid of the dark.
i'm afraid of screams.but i love to scream.
above all, i'm afraid of the ghosts.
to satisfy and not to disappoint my besties,
i joined them to enter the haunted house that was organized on the carnival day.
hearing the howling and screaming from the inside of the house,
i was actually shaking.
but i talked so much with my friends that i ignored the shakes.
and so arrived our turn.
i grabbed pai's and fanzi's hand.i wish i could close my eyes.
i swore all the way to the exit.
i couldn't really remember how the ghosts look like (because it's dark),
but one that i really-really-really could not forget is
the white ghost, wrapped in a white cloth, its nose blocked with cotton.
and the eyes were white.
$%^&*(@#!
there was a ghost followed fanzi because fanzi laughed throughout our journey in the haunted house.but what fanzi said to that ghost was,
"jangan lah ikut saya, bang. gi kat tempat abang balik."
LOL
overall,
it was a very funny experience since i last entered a haunted house which is when i was small.thanks pai and fanzi for making me less scared. :D
with this high imagination that i have,
explains why i refuse to watch horror movies.
si penakut,
nfhms.
i'm afraid of screams.but i love to scream.
above all, i'm afraid of the ghosts.
to satisfy and not to disappoint my besties,
i joined them to enter the haunted house that was organized on the carnival day.
hearing the howling and screaming from the inside of the house,
i was actually shaking.
but i talked so much with my friends that i ignored the shakes.
and so arrived our turn.
i grabbed pai's and fanzi's hand.i wish i could close my eyes.
i swore all the way to the exit.
i couldn't really remember how the ghosts look like (because it's dark),
but one that i really-really-really could not forget is
the white ghost, wrapped in a white cloth, its nose blocked with cotton.
and the eyes were white.
$%^&*(@#!
there was a ghost followed fanzi because fanzi laughed throughout our journey in the haunted house.but what fanzi said to that ghost was,
"jangan lah ikut saya, bang. gi kat tempat abang balik."
LOL
overall,
it was a very funny experience since i last entered a haunted house which is when i was small.thanks pai and fanzi for making me less scared. :D
with this high imagination that i have,
explains why i refuse to watch horror movies.
si penakut,
nfhms.
March 26, 2011
YTF = WTF
since the weather today is so fucking hot,
i do nothing all day long but lazing around on my bed.
and when the sun set,
my tummy began to sing.
urgh.need to grab something.
before i get ready to go out, googled where is nearest pasar malam for today..hee~
sebab dah lapar sangat, nak mamam manyak-manyak-manyak.
ah-ha! there is one pasar malam at section 19.
and so i went there.of course, not alone.
he accompanied me. i think i accompanied him.sebab dia yang tiba-tiba nak cari pasar malam ni.
macam orang yang dah tak makan untuk beberapa hari,
i feel like buying all the foods. *drool*
so i bought keropok yang cwunchy, popia basah, spring potato, etc.etc.etc and today's main course is yong tau foo.
my monster chose to eat yong tau foo.
he chose,chose,and chose (this may sound a lot but actually it's only a little)
and there you go, RM14.20.
and we were like, O.o ?? WTF?
it's nonsense!
only if we knew, we are willing to drive and hit the flamingo steamboat at sunway!
terus turn-off nak beli all the foods which look very tempting earlier.
burp! dah kenyang,
nfhms.
i do nothing all day long but lazing around on my bed.
and when the sun set,
my tummy began to sing.
urgh.need to grab something.
before i get ready to go out, googled where is nearest pasar malam for today..hee~
sebab dah lapar sangat, nak mamam manyak-manyak-manyak.
ah-ha! there is one pasar malam at section 19.
and so i went there.of course, not alone.
macam orang yang dah tak makan untuk beberapa hari,
i feel like buying all the foods. *drool*
so i bought keropok yang cwunchy, popia basah, spring potato, etc.etc.etc and today's main course is yong tau foo.
my monster chose to eat yong tau foo.
he chose,chose,and chose (this may sound a lot but actually it's only a little)
and there you go, RM14.20.
and we were like, O.o ?? WTF?
it's nonsense!
only if we knew, we are willing to drive and hit the flamingo steamboat at sunway!
terus turn-off nak beli all the foods which look very tempting earlier.
burp! dah kenyang,
nfhms.
energy-less.
sahalam is still a natural sauna.
nothing changes here.
but my skin colour.i'm getting darker.
today's weather is killing me.
it is so hot since early morning.
up to this moment.
i slept with sweat.and made me feels very energy-less.
i dont feel like doing anything in this state of weather.
but to wash my feet every 5 minutes to keep me chill.
maybe i should plant some trees in my house.
or maybe i should install an air-cond? *dont think i have enough money to buy*
plant trees is more environmental friendly.
oh yes people.
earth hour tonight.
8.30pm.forget not.
i love rains,
nfhms.
nothing changes here.
but my skin colour.i'm getting darker.
today's weather is killing me.
it is so hot since early morning.
up to this moment.
i slept with sweat.and made me feels very energy-less.
i dont feel like doing anything in this state of weather.
but to wash my feet every 5 minutes to keep me chill.
maybe i should plant some trees in my house.
or maybe i should install an air-cond? *dont think i have enough money to buy*
plant trees is more environmental friendly.
oh yes people.
earth hour tonight.
8.30pm.forget not.
i love rains,
nfhms.
March 3, 2011
a fact - based on true events
it's funny how annoying a person can be.
they are undeniably born stupid. they are still lingering with things that are completely over. education qualification is merely a scroll. nothing more.
these people are very selfish. pretend like they care about others. as if! they are very manipulative in twisting lines, demand people to consider their pathetic conditions, and act like a big winner at the end of the game.
they hunger for attention. parading the god of the devil with angel's mask on their faces. they seek publicity in disgusting manners which is indescribable by words. only they know how to perform actions as such.
they trouble people a lot. create messes and let others pay. some parts are lacking in them which deny the qualities of human beings. they are monsters. they don't have sense of guilt and shame.
i don't mind people do bad things
as long as it doesn't cost others.
bad things mean it's only between you and yourself, or maybe God.
don't chain messes and let others involve.
find better things to do that can benefit you.
the one who doesn't appreciate people as described above,
nfhms.
they are undeniably born stupid. they are still lingering with things that are completely over. education qualification is merely a scroll. nothing more.
these people are very selfish. pretend like they care about others. as if! they are very manipulative in twisting lines, demand people to consider their pathetic conditions, and act like a big winner at the end of the game.
they hunger for attention. parading the god of the devil with angel's mask on their faces. they seek publicity in disgusting manners which is indescribable by words. only they know how to perform actions as such.
they trouble people a lot. create messes and let others pay. some parts are lacking in them which deny the qualities of human beings. they are monsters. they don't have sense of guilt and shame.
i don't mind people do bad things
as long as it doesn't cost others.
bad things mean it's only between you and yourself, or maybe God.
don't chain messes and let others involve.
find better things to do that can benefit you.
the one who doesn't appreciate people as described above,
nfhms.
February 27, 2011
February 5, 2011
somebody call 999
the 8th floor was burnt into fire.
thick black smoke covered the top of the building.
people started to point fingers to where i stood.above me,to be exact.
i stood at the window.wondering whats going on.
i didn't smell the smoke or even see the smoke.
did i lose my senses?
okay.i heard the siren wailed loudly.
very loud.i mean it.
mom got panicked.
she packed her stuffs.
we packed our stuffs, too.
waiting..
waiting..
waiting..
and dad said,
everything is fine now.
they put out the fire already.
i exhaled, relieved.
feeling lucky,
nfhms.
thick black smoke covered the top of the building.
people started to point fingers to where i stood.above me,to be exact.
i stood at the window.wondering whats going on.
i didn't smell the smoke or even see the smoke.
did i lose my senses?
okay.i heard the siren wailed loudly.
very loud.i mean it.
mom got panicked.
she packed her stuffs.
we packed our stuffs, too.
waiting..
waiting..
waiting..
and dad said,
everything is fine now.
they put out the fire already.
i exhaled, relieved.
feeling lucky,
nfhms.
February 4, 2011
each to their own
accept changes.
respect each needs.
celebrate our differences.
cause'
each to his own.
yours truly,
nfhms.
December 1, 2010
missing the good old days
I talked for almost an hour with a good friend of mine, someone who I’d like to assume as my brother. We reminisced our good old days and we shared our current stories.
Those days with the burger stall, picnics on the beach, parties when parents weren’t at home… ;p
It was fun. I was only sixteen when I knew them. But everything is still fresh in my mind. How good I was as a matchmaker, how close we were, who cooked the best burger ever, how funny when we sold and delivered burgers to my school, how the love triangle – love pentagon – love love love began, evolved, and ended, how we comforted each other and how everything has changed.
It’s sad to admit that I feel like all of us are drifting apart from one another. As we grow older, each of us is busy making new friends and each of us is bound to other important commitments that we sometimes forgot to take care, cherish and appreciate what we ever have before.
I wish I was sixteen again.
yours truly,
nfhms.
Those days with the burger stall, picnics on the beach, parties when parents weren’t at home… ;p
It was fun. I was only sixteen when I knew them. But everything is still fresh in my mind. How good I was as a matchmaker, how close we were, who cooked the best burger ever, how funny when we sold and delivered burgers to my school, how the love triangle – love pentagon – love love love began, evolved, and ended, how we comforted each other and how everything has changed.
It’s sad to admit that I feel like all of us are drifting apart from one another. As we grow older, each of us is busy making new friends and each of us is bound to other important commitments that we sometimes forgot to take care, cherish and appreciate what we ever have before.
I wish I was sixteen again.
yours truly,
nfhms.
November 21, 2010
a fruitful road trip to north malaysia
The road trip to the north was very tiring. Despite that, I gained more and more precious school of thoughts. The way to look at things changed for a better judgment, making me a better human than I was before.
Infidelity.
I’ve always thought my past is the worst. But I forgot, there are a lot more worsen than mine. Infidelity happens due to many reasons, no doubt. Lack of attention, lack of qualified dream characteristics, taking advantages, name it. But why do you seat on the pillion if you don’t like the rider? It is not necessary or I’d rather say it is unfair to put the responsibilities on the rider who brought you to the first stop and want him to bring you until the last station. It meant to be that way but not anymore in these days. It would be easier if you drop off at the first stop and go by yourself. Confrontation is the best when you feel like diverting although it hurts. Don’t do things behind someone’s back, you know it won’t get you far.
Money
Money is always the reason of women’s betrayal and diversion. Women are getting higher and higher in their personal maintenance on monthly basis. Most women would easily fall for someone whose pocket is thick, whose ride is faster, and yadda.yadda.yadda. Everyone loves money, who doesn’t? Hey, money doesn’t last long. Don’t forget, the same goes to your relationship. You may lose it over money. How pathetic.
Drugs
On a chemical substance, you’ll find everything is wonderful, everything is beautiful. But you forgot, it is over the moment it lasts. When everything is wonderful, it clouded your rational judgment. You are no more in control. You start doing irrational things which you yourself think is rationale. It creates a haywire in your brain and you broke things that you once really care of. It screwed you.
..
Yes, I personally think that there are times I found myself lack of attention from the person I love. Sometimes, time shows me that he doesn’t have a few of my dream guy characteristics. Though this doesn’t change my feelings for I know we are angels with flaws – nobody is perfect.
And to be added to the point, I myself love money. For I know I can do everything I like with it, I can buy anything that I want with it. Today, I am with someone that is not a wealthy man who can buy me an A4 today, who can buy a plane ticket to wherever I want to go, who can buy every single thing I wish I had. Hello, you don't bury money with you at the end of the day okay.
I get high sometimes. So does he. It is fun. A silly fun. But I wouldn’t go over the boundaries for I like myself to be in control. Off balance at times is normal. He knows how to resist. He knows how to handle. He knows how to take care of me. What else could I ask for?
Then be grateful.do appreciate, I bet everything will be just fine.
future.
si nak menjadi better person (konon),
nfhms.
Infidelity.
I’ve always thought my past is the worst. But I forgot, there are a lot more worsen than mine. Infidelity happens due to many reasons, no doubt. Lack of attention, lack of qualified dream characteristics, taking advantages, name it. But why do you seat on the pillion if you don’t like the rider? It is not necessary or I’d rather say it is unfair to put the responsibilities on the rider who brought you to the first stop and want him to bring you until the last station. It meant to be that way but not anymore in these days. It would be easier if you drop off at the first stop and go by yourself. Confrontation is the best when you feel like diverting although it hurts. Don’t do things behind someone’s back, you know it won’t get you far.
Money
Money is always the reason of women’s betrayal and diversion. Women are getting higher and higher in their personal maintenance on monthly basis. Most women would easily fall for someone whose pocket is thick, whose ride is faster, and yadda.yadda.yadda. Everyone loves money, who doesn’t? Hey, money doesn’t last long. Don’t forget, the same goes to your relationship. You may lose it over money. How pathetic.
On a chemical substance, you’ll find everything is wonderful, everything is beautiful. But you forgot, it is over the moment it lasts. When everything is wonderful, it clouded your rational judgment. You are no more in control. You start doing irrational things which you yourself think is rationale. It creates a haywire in your brain and you broke things that you once really care of. It screwed you.
..
Yes, I personally think that there are times I found myself lack of attention from the person I love. Sometimes, time shows me that he doesn’t have a few of my dream guy characteristics. Though this doesn’t change my feelings for I know we are angels with flaws – nobody is perfect.
And to be added to the point, I myself love money. For I know I can do everything I like with it, I can buy anything that I want with it. Today, I am with someone that is not a wealthy man who can buy me an A4 today, who can buy a plane ticket to wherever I want to go, who can buy every single thing I wish I had. Hello, you don't bury money with you at the end of the day okay.
I get high sometimes. So does he. It is fun. A silly fun. But I wouldn’t go over the boundaries for I like myself to be in control. Off balance at times is normal. He knows how to resist. He knows how to handle. He knows how to take care of me. What else could I ask for?
Then be grateful.do appreciate, I bet everything will be just fine.
si nak menjadi better person (konon),
nfhms.
November 9, 2010
of 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years.
"as we grow older, things seem to be less important" - RED, 2010.
maybe i should agree to this.people around me are mostly above than my age.1 year older, 2 years older, 10 years older, even up to double my age.
knowing them, i comprehend better the line i quoted above.we crave and pursue things that we most wanted during our early age and unconciously, we tend to lose some passion to earn what we want as our age is showing a bigger number.
though, befriending and mingling with all these people who are older than me made me forgot that i am still young.i forgot that this adrenaline in my veins are always rushing like there is no tomorrow.everything is still tempting to me.okay, maybe by now, there are certain things that i'm not dying for it..
i'm not the only one who forgot or too oblivous to realize but these people also forgot who i am.they assume i am like them, that things are not really important in my life anymore.they forgot who they were when they were at my age.want to chase this, want to get that, want to do this, want to grab that.when they felt it once, maybe that's the reason they're all leaving it behind.this explains fighting, break-ups, divorce, poverty, loneliness and etc.
despite the fact that i have experienced more than anyone at my age, still, i am only a 22-year-old girl who wants to experience more, who is still passionate to chase dreams, who is still appreciating life to its fullest, who is still thought everything is important in life.i still want go out late night and get high, i still want to talk crap with my friends, i still want to spend time with young adult kind of things, i still chase wealth, i still seek silly fun and happiness, i still want to be around someone 24/7..
everything still looks very inviting to me.i've to admit that i have older things and dreams which not many young adults at my age would have.this summarizes about me that both my young needs and elderly dreams are important...always have, always will.you'll never lose your passion when you set in mind that it is important, maybe not for now, but how about the future?
back to the quote above, i understand what it means.but i think
"since we live once, things never seem to be less important"
yours truly,
nfhms.
maybe i should agree to this.people around me are mostly above than my age.1 year older, 2 years older, 10 years older, even up to double my age.
knowing them, i comprehend better the line i quoted above.we crave and pursue things that we most wanted during our early age and unconciously, we tend to lose some passion to earn what we want as our age is showing a bigger number.
though, befriending and mingling with all these people who are older than me made me forgot that i am still young.i forgot that this adrenaline in my veins are always rushing like there is no tomorrow.everything is still tempting to me.okay, maybe by now, there are certain things that i'm not dying for it..
i'm not the only one who forgot or too oblivous to realize but these people also forgot who i am.they assume i am like them, that things are not really important in my life anymore.they forgot who they were when they were at my age.want to chase this, want to get that, want to do this, want to grab that.when they felt it once, maybe that's the reason they're all leaving it behind.this explains fighting, break-ups, divorce, poverty, loneliness and etc.
despite the fact that i have experienced more than anyone at my age, still, i am only a 22-year-old girl who wants to experience more, who is still passionate to chase dreams, who is still appreciating life to its fullest, who is still thought everything is important in life.i still want go out late night and get high, i still want to talk crap with my friends, i still want to spend time with young adult kind of things, i still chase wealth, i still seek silly fun and happiness, i still want to be around someone 24/7..
everything still looks very inviting to me.i've to admit that i have older things and dreams which not many young adults at my age would have.this summarizes about me that both my young needs and elderly dreams are important...always have, always will.you'll never lose your passion when you set in mind that it is important, maybe not for now, but how about the future?
back to the quote above, i understand what it means.but i think
"since we live once, things never seem to be less important"
yours truly,
nfhms.
November 8, 2010
relieved? hell no!
my empty house has turned into a nicer shelter.
thanks to the neighbour in front.heh.
i just finish shooting my profile.
omg, it was really a nerve-wrecking.
i can feel like i was sooo fake.
i dont know why.i dont feel comfortable to be in front of the camera.
but done.
i dont know how it will be.
but if u watched me,
please don't laugh!!
thanks to the neighbour in front.heh.
i just finish shooting my profile.
omg, it was really a nerve-wrecking.
i can feel like i was sooo fake.
i dont know why.i dont feel comfortable to be in front of the camera.
but done.
i dont know how it will be.
but if u watched me,
please don't laugh!!
November 7, 2010
invisible gap
i feel like we're drifting apart.
i feel you walk away.
each passing day, the distance seems to be greater.
i realized this long before today.
only now i have the guts to say.
i heard no more stories.
but i should be grateful i still hear few laughters.
i concealed my disappoinment with smiles.
and try to engage with you every time i got the chance.
but my attempts failed.
i dont know what you keep inside.
but with open heart i'm waiting and ready for you to let me know.
i miss you.
i really value you.
dear bestfriend,
forget me not.
for i always love you, till the end.
yours truly,
nfhms.
i feel you walk away.
each passing day, the distance seems to be greater.
i realized this long before today.
only now i have the guts to say.
i heard no more stories.
but i should be grateful i still hear few laughters.
i concealed my disappoinment with smiles.
and try to engage with you every time i got the chance.
but my attempts failed.
i dont know what you keep inside.
but with open heart i'm waiting and ready for you to let me know.
i miss you.
i really value you.
dear bestfriend,
forget me not.
for i always love you, till the end.
yours truly,
nfhms.
November 2, 2010
take me out
I received a phone call from ntv7. They asked me to go for the audition for a new reality programme called ‘take me out’. It is a so called dating show.
I am not in searching for a partner. I already have one.
But many agreed me to go for it.
to make it as a platform to create a name.
to uplift the reputation.
I am not desperate to get acknowledgement from the world. I already have my own world.
Still, I went for the interview (not sure what is my main intention of going there) with few friends as my companion. Unfortunately, I got they involved with it too. Ntv7 insisted them to fill in the form.
A day later,
I received a phone call from ntv7 again. I’m selected to be the contestant. So do my guy friends.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
I don’t have any idea. Please take me out from here…
screaming OMG,
nfhms.
I am not in searching for a partner. I already have one.
But many agreed me to go for it.
to make it as a platform to create a name.
to uplift the reputation.
I am not desperate to get acknowledgement from the world. I already have my own world.
Still, I went for the interview (not sure what is my main intention of going there) with few friends as my companion. Unfortunately, I got they involved with it too. Ntv7 insisted them to fill in the form.
A day later,
I received a phone call from ntv7 again. I’m selected to be the contestant. So do my guy friends.
What the hell have I gotten myself into?
I don’t have any idea. Please take me out from here…
screaming OMG,
nfhms.
September 24, 2010
moments of glorious embarrassment
How irony is that? Embarrassment is never a glory.
I have faced some moments of embarrassment in my life. Sometimes, it was funny that I laughed to myself that it happened. I know you would laugh too.
That’s doesn’t complete my life.Denial of my dignity happened to me, too. I knew how it feels. I know how much it hurts.
For a little non-verbal action I did, I’ve ever got a slap in a restaurant full of unknown people and some that I knew. I was dragged out from that place by the hair. A hard push hit my back when I was almost at the exit door. How’s that sound?
How about this one?
I remembered of another time, I received a spit on an escalator. A spot of human saliva covered my chest. It was also because a tiny action I did which I think I don’t deserve to be punished that way. Every eye was on me and all I can do was held back my tears.
I know that this is not the only denial of dignity I’ve ever received. There are so many people I knew out there who may or already turn my pride down behind my back, in words form, I should add. Some do it under a state of a conscious mind and some may do it unrealized.
For all those moments I have got, I never get revenge. Yes, I got a little mad after it happened but it flew away with time shortly. I don’t punish whoever gave me that moment of embarrassment, whether I love them or not. I don’t know if I was wrong or I was too kind doing so. Perhaps, I feel doing the same makes me no better than the person.
Well I know that this happens to all of us. And I am sure that all of us do the same to one another regardless our gender and age.
Yes. I did it last night unconsciously. The worst part is, to the person I love. I was too emotional to win. too tired to think. too stupid to realized. Above of all, it seemed oblivious to me.
Yes. I received the consequence straight away too. It is way too harsh. It is full of meanness. I apologized. I begged and I plead. Though, no matter how I repent, ignorance is still bliss.
With tears, I’m signing off.
flawfull,
nfhms.
I have faced some moments of embarrassment in my life. Sometimes, it was funny that I laughed to myself that it happened. I know you would laugh too.
That’s doesn’t complete my life.Denial of my dignity happened to me, too. I knew how it feels. I know how much it hurts.
For a little non-verbal action I did, I’ve ever got a slap in a restaurant full of unknown people and some that I knew. I was dragged out from that place by the hair. A hard push hit my back when I was almost at the exit door. How’s that sound?
How about this one?
I remembered of another time, I received a spit on an escalator. A spot of human saliva covered my chest. It was also because a tiny action I did which I think I don’t deserve to be punished that way. Every eye was on me and all I can do was held back my tears.
I know that this is not the only denial of dignity I’ve ever received. There are so many people I knew out there who may or already turn my pride down behind my back, in words form, I should add. Some do it under a state of a conscious mind and some may do it unrealized.
For all those moments I have got, I never get revenge. Yes, I got a little mad after it happened but it flew away with time shortly. I don’t punish whoever gave me that moment of embarrassment, whether I love them or not. I don’t know if I was wrong or I was too kind doing so. Perhaps, I feel doing the same makes me no better than the person.
Well I know that this happens to all of us. And I am sure that all of us do the same to one another regardless our gender and age.
Yes. I did it last night unconsciously. The worst part is, to the person I love. I was too emotional to win. too tired to think. too stupid to realized. Above of all, it seemed oblivious to me.
Yes. I received the consequence straight away too. It is way too harsh. It is full of meanness. I apologized. I begged and I plead. Though, no matter how I repent, ignorance is still bliss.
With tears, I’m signing off.
flawfull,
nfhms.
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