cuak dow!

tomorrow is going to be
the one and only,
the first and last,
final paper.

and
i have no idea why am i nervous to death at the moment.
it's annoying.

anyway,
wish me luck.

*talking to myself*

oh.fark! it's so lonely to be locked up in this small room, reading and studying this alone, with no sound but the rain.



smart student (macam haram),
nfhms.

it's there, before my eyes.

I saw it.
I saw the house.
I was speechless.

There was no sound that I could make.
But there were so many things running through my mind.

It was so beautiful. It looked so elegant.
Standing still on top of a hill, surrounded heavily by green trees and a wide view to serve the eyes.
It was so beautiful. It looked so expensive.

It struck my heart.
Not for the memories. Not for what I have missed.
Knowing who you are now, knowing who you were before.
I couldn’t help but think.
What a change have you went!
I couldn’t help but think.
Why didn't life treat you well?
I couldn’t help but think.
How are you actually doing?

Because I couldn’t imagine myself being in your shoes.

I feel sorry.
For sometimes I threw words
like I knew everything. like everything is so easy.
But having to look at it, I understand how hard it is.
how bad it is capable to hit you.
and why we could fight over these things.

It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t that simple.
Being so used to it and lose it in a blink of eye could make you insane.

It is traumatic. It is indeed unbearable.




p/s: please hang in there...



offering strength,
nfhms.