October 2, 2016


stands for before anyone else. 
you are and gonna always be my bae. 


do you miss me?

everytime you leave
i wish for nothing but 
for you to come back 

when you aren't there
i wish for nothing but
for you to be there 

when you are busy 
i wish for nothing but
for you to spend some time with me

when you dont smile
i wish for nothing but
for you to give me the sweetest smile 

when i am lonely
i wish for nothing but
for you to hug me 

when i cry
i wish for nothing but 
for you to wipe away my tears 

when i am on the edge of breaking down
i wish for nothing but
for you to hold you 

above all 
i wish you miss me like how i miss you 

that's how i'll be

look at the rose everyday
look at how it dies slowly
for without you
that's how i'll be 

September 30, 2016

no title

a victim of circumstances
in those circumstances i was found guilty

July 13, 2016

clips, broken

attached you to me. 
clips. broken.
you flew away. 


June 28, 2016


Careless Whisper by George Michael

I feel so unsure
As I take your hand
And lead you to the dance floor
As the music dies
Something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all it's sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste a chance that I've been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you

Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find

Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd
Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
Please stay

Now that you've gone
Now that you've gone
Now that you've gone
Was what I did so wrong
So wrong that you had to leave me alone

June 26, 2016


i've missed you. 
not in a we're-going-to-make-out way. 
not in a i-forgive-you way. 
just i've-missed-you way. 

June 18, 2016

a cold night and a million thoughts of you

one cold night 
i took a ride 
cruised around 
and passed by our hideouts 
so i drove slow
i saw us through the glass windows
i thought i would be weeping
but no, i was smiling


June 10, 2016

everyday kinda thing

you are my everyday kind of thing
perks me up when nothing does
now that you're gone
my days are incomplete
empty as the dessert

you are my everyday kind of thing
now that you're gone
my day ends unsettled 
you consume my thoughts 
sure that i'm not in yours at all

you are my everyday kind of thing
everything i do it has been all about you
though now you're gone 
you are still my everyday kind of thing 
cause you are in my mind all day long. 


June 9, 2016

sleeping on a wet pillow

sombre mood slips in
between me and this sheet
my days are empty
my nights are long 
i wail with sorrow 
but levitates my heart soar
as scenes, flicker vividly


June 7, 2016

what you want matters, but what you need is more important.

i cupped my hands to recite du'a and i shut my eyes, tight. as i uttering my humble words, i feel couple of tears dropped on my palm. i started to stutter. my voice hardly came out from my throat. i've wet my cheeks. tears rolled, i couldn't hold back. i ended up curling on my praying mat, crying so hard. 


June 5, 2016

in between :/

it was quite a blow. but it is the truth, even fate cant deny or change it.
but i cant change my nature either.
things have taken its toll on me. now, i am standing in between sad and happy. 
happiness in agony, misery in happiness.
overlapping with one another and always leaving me confused and lost. 
but i want to be in it. 
i couldnt take even a step away. 

i am pretty much broken. 
fixing it up and end up broken still. 
but i thank you for being apart of patching up my broken self.
might mean nothing to you but meant everything to me. 


June 1, 2016

remember me

time changes everything except something within us
no matter how things change, 
and whatever we have now,
time always leaves its shadow behind. 

anywhere you are, wherever you go, 
everytime you tryna find what time is it
i want you to think of me

cos i, 
never a second in my life, have not thought of you. 💕

remember me,

April 1, 2016

heat stroke? not...

i was diagnosed stress recently. 
well i thought im doing ok. apparently im not. 
plus with the heat, my body doesnt tolerate much of it. 
if this prolongs, it could lead to depression. 
i'm started to reconsider to stay as a teacher. hmm 

what cause all these, seriously? 

to when you were there

March 28, 2016

all or nothing

everytime i see you.. 
you don't know how my adrenal glands are producing so much epinephrine that is taking over my body this very second, making my blood vessels constrict, my heart pumping blood rapidly and my lungs take in air at a higher rate. every cell of my body is calling out your name & i am paradox. i am so alive but i feel like dying.

i don't understand why you have so much control over my emotions, you make me feel so much while you probably feel nothing.


March 18, 2016


fcking terribly affected by this .. 

March 16, 2016

dont die just yet

hidup ni memang palat,
tapi esok masih ada. 

kalau kau hidup lagi lah esok.
sebenarnya yang betul-betul kau ada ialah SEKARANG. 

spark off

what if it dies along the way?

you have no choice. 
you gotta live with it anyway.

yours truly,
conflicted heart. 

March 10, 2016

unstable af

today i feel like writing. 

a week has flown by slow. i feel like it has been ages since everything has changed. and i have been feeling lonely and empty ever since, frankly. 

i have been wondering of so many whys. and i'm figuring out still. what kind of test is this? most of all, i feel unfair when i dont have the chance to choose even at the first place. fate already did for me. 

i am unstable af now. i dont know how i will endure this alone. 
in those littlest things i secretly cherish, 
i still found happiness in this agony. 
although it would only last for 10 seconds before the reality slaps me, 
it matters. 
because you matter. 

the one who used to get all of your attention

January 13, 2016


you dont have any idea
how much i miss you.
i've been thinking of you alot.
even in my sleep..