It has been 12 days since the last goodbye.
Time goes on but I don’t. I need change but not bring myself to accept one. Agreed with a friend of mine; it is like the process of deleting a habit. but I must try.
I have to face this abrupt loss, after all. Deal with it, cope with it, and live with it.
When people ask or say;
“How are you?”
“Are you okay?”
“Be strong!”
“I’m fine, thank you.” (nodding)
“I’m okay.” (nodding)
“…” (smiling and nodding)
are my answers. Maybe I literally mean it. Maybe I don’t.
I can’t tell how I feel. I can’t tell what I am thinking of. I don’t know what I do. I don’t know where I am heading to.
Yes. I am lost. Lost at thinking perhaps?
I know there are 2 ways of coping up with this.
First, delete all pictures, phone numbers, bittersweet memories, cut the connections, forget everything, be a stranger and move on; in which good for me and this is what many 'broken-hearts' try to do.
or...
keep everything, smiles in each encounter, remember everything, take everything with you and move on; in which way much better but harder to be done.
hurm… *thinking*
I’ll go for the second one. I’ll work on it.
Chapter is closed. I am moving on, and who’s coming with me?
yours truly,
nfhms.
