June 3, 2014

Always The Best for Our Little Bub

As I am writing this, I am lying beside my husband on the bed. He is still sleeping, yes, without sound. Teehee~ 

Alhamdulillah. I think all the basic things needed in welcoming our little bub are all completed. Yesterday, we got a good catch for an infant carseat-cum-carrier. Since husband is in the marketing line, I think its his expertise to haggle and get such a good price. 

We spent quite some time in deciding which infant carseat we want to buy. A few brands were shortlisted after we read reviews on the websites and blogwalkings. Of course the one which stole our heart is BRITAX, the one that The Royal Baby (William's & Kate's) is currently using. But we aren't willing to let our pockets be stolen by it. Hehe

There are a lot of things need to be considered in choosing a carseat especially its material, position, weight, user-friendliness, price and so on and so forth. Why pay for RM300 for a local brand (which is always reported to be having problems - no offense) when you can get the same price for a baby-carseat maker? Yes? 

We were thinking to grab Halford (UK Brand, assembles in Malaysia) because of how flat it is, and it is important for bub. (I don't want bub to sleep in an awkward position; like sitting and being pushed deep into the carseat) But the material is not that good, plus the only colour available at the moment is black. Black for a carseat? Hmm...maybe not. 

Then, we found hauck. Hauck is quite a new brand for baby stuffs, same like Halford. Hauck is from Germany. To our disappointment, all the baby stores we went to were all out of stock. So we couldn't see and view it. Were only able to view it on the internet. 

After putting a lot of thoughts, we finally bought a MaxiCosi. The one which can be brought on an airplane. It is because of the material which is absolutely good, reasonable price, user-friendly, and light weight. It can be attached to a Quinny stroller, but we don't have one since we already bought Pegperego (because we don't like bulky, sporty, futuristic type of stroller; we like slim and slender like us. HAHA) 

I am satisfied with our choice. and quite excited actually for I have been eyeing MaxiCosi since my early pregnancy. 

We are planning to get a Britax or Cosatto after our lilttle bub turns 1. It sounds more practical to spend more on (or worth buying) something that can be used for a long-term. 

Happy mom,

May 20, 2014


After months of searching and reading reviews on the internet, I've finally decided to buy THAT breastpump. 

and actually I have purchased it!
online! HAHA nampak sangat ketidaksabaran disitu.

I will collect my order during the school holiday. Oh I cant wait!! It was a good deal that I have finally chosen the breastpump. 

I don't read much about breastfeeding though, but I hope my baby will enjoy breastfeeding. (: 



I feel happy. 

Just to roll on the bed.
With him. 

Before I left for work. 

si comel,

May 10, 2014

32 weeks

I am now in my 32 weeks of pregnancy. Whatever I am feeling is becoming overwhelming each day. I feel scared yet I feel excited too. 

Everyday I will wake up to the kick of my baby. And I will wait for more, and more, and more kicks. I talk to him. I sing for him. I pat him. I can't wait to see him. So that, I could kiss him as many times as I want. 

It has been indeed a beautiful journey. 

I am counting days for holidays. So, I can share this experience with my husband. I want to live as a family, like any other normal family, in a happy home. I really want that. 


May 6, 2014

WE are ONE.

Truthfully, being a pregger is changing me as a person. Each day of this amazing journey has shifted the focus of my life and I have started making sacrifices and that is a preparation designed
for me to be a mother.

Everything grows rounder, wider, and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all, patting my belly. I wonder who in the world you will turn out to be. I know we struggle to go through this path. I know what you feel because we are one.

But darling baby,
let us pray hard so that Allah will shower us with miracles and we could live together with daddy, happily, contentedly, gratefully, yes?

lots of love,

May 5, 2014

Time flies, Time crawls.

April was hectic. I didn't see my husband for almost a month and that was a real torture. Time crawls like a snail. Therefore, we decided to take 4 days off when May came. I did applied for a leave but my boss did not approve it, apparently, for no reason.

Husband arrived on Wednesday's night. I shook and kiss his hand and I smelled the smell I miss. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt contented just to see his face, knowing he would be by my side although only for a short time. He treated my parents and I a delicious dinner and after a long time, I had a really mouthful dinner. Even my baby moved excitedly that night.

I had good time when he was around. To wake up and see his face was a true bliss. To sleep in his arms makes me feel secure than ever. We spent time eating, watching tv, went out, shopping, sleeping, bathing, pillow-talking, praying, and did every single thing together. It was all beautiful. We are like magnets. Our baby seemed to enjoy his father companion as well. He moved at 6 in the morning, and knowing that his father was still sleeping and snoring, I think he went back to sleep too.  

How fast time flies. 4 days of break was too short for me. I want to spend longer time with him.
The baby also felt sad. He didn't move much when his father went back to KL. He worried me to death for being a little passive than usual. I touched, pushed, slapped my tummy to feel him moving. He did, but the move was not energetic like usual. as if he was grieving bidding farewell to the father.

dear husband,
I hope you read this. Me and baby are missing you, badly. hope to see you soon.

lots of love,
wifey & baby.

May 1, 2014

shopping baby's clothing

I have bought pretty much all the basic items needed for the baby. I become so excited just looking at the baby's stuffs in the store. Which mom doesn't? Baby's stuffs are too cute too be true. I can spend hours in the baby store, looking, analyzing, picking, and choosing the best items for my baby.

My favourite baby store is of course, Mothercare. They offers a wide range of choices especially in clothing. I bought most of the baby's clothes there. Rompers, sleep suits, socks, mittens, towels, muslins, you name it. Even my husband likes it too. Maybe I am prone to Mothercare because of its design. Apart from looking too cute, the material is the best too!

H&M baby also looks exclusive in my eyes. I got several pairs of long sleeves rompers at a real cheap price. When I went to Sunway Pyramid last April, my sister went crazy shopping clothes for her newborn as well. We didn't even snap a single picture because we were just too busy shopping!

In terms of breastfeeding, I haven't bought anything yet. I have done some research, read reviews on the internet, and ask from the experienced friends. Maybe I'll get them all by this month. In Shaa Allah...

I can't wait to go for more shopping. Dear holiday, please come fast!


March 23, 2014

school holiday was a little dull

today is Monday and it feels like heaven when I don't have to rush when I woke up. 

Despite the heaven-ness feeling, I somewhat feel that this holiday was a little dull. Husband's work demands his attention more than I do. Did I just say more than I do? I need more of his attention, actually. But I can tolerate, his work cannot. I wanna go out more often. I know he is exhausted to cope with his workload and his manja wife at the same time. Men, they are just bad in multitasking. To be frank, I am frustrated. Of all the time, why must during this school holiday that he has to work to death? 

You see, I treasure the time to meet and spend time with him because we are the weekend husband and wife. When things like this happen, I feel terribly down. I want to entertain myself by going out at malls, but my car is not here. Can you feel me? I feel hollow and empty. This is not what I expect it to be. 

I just want to be with him. He is my husband and I just want to have him all by myself. That's all. 


March 22, 2014

good to have you around

this morning husband made me a cup of hot milo. and he cooked for lunch as well. the dishes are simple yet they are all very inviting. simply delicious. 

i feel blessed to have him around. 
thank you Allah. 

pencinta sayang,

March 11, 2014

better half

I think
my tummy has grown obvious.
people have started to notice my baby bump.
I feel excited about this.
I feel proud being an expectant mother.
This is the most amazing experience I have ever felt so far.

I am still counting days for holidays.
I want to be with my husband,
to have every meal with him.
to sleep on the same bed.
to watch the TV together.
to go out and watch movies.
to hang out with our buddies.
above all else,
to share what I am experiencing now with him.

My work is not a walk in a park. No profession is.
I only enjoyed taking the course for 6 years.
But the reality hits me really hard.
I don't enjoy teaching, I never did.
I am struggling to adjust myself at my workplace.
To find the little comfort in the midst of agony.
So that I can have that little peace as a drive to teach.

But it seems like every element in this place denies my efforts.
Everything I do goes wrong or things never really go my way.
No one tries to understand nor did I seek sympathy from the people.
A little of humanity act should do.
My world cripples each passing day.
I am sinking in and I am on the edge of breaking down.

They said I am strong.
Deep inside, I am hurt badly.
I cry when I go to sleep.
Hoping that my husband would accompany me.
But most mornings, I wake up and find myself all alone.
I begin to lose hope.
The faith that I hold on to begin to perish.

I know I didn't perform in classes.
I wanted to but I just don't have the drive.

There is nothing much I could do.
Hopeless. Helpless.

For all I need is him.
All I need is my Shamel Ali. 
For he is


March 3, 2014


the only thing that keeps me going is
you, and the baby.


March 2, 2014

craving masa preggy?

"apa lagi b rasa teringin nak makan?" 

"mmm...popia basah. tapi abah cakap dia balik perak aritu tade popia basah, ade lempeng pisang je."

"yelah. sekarang kan musim panas. semua popia jadi kering, takde popia basah." HAHAHA

nakalnye suami aku. menyakat bini tengah craving. but so far, everything that i want, he never failed to satisfy me. thank you sayang! 

ahh..rindu pulak. 

when will i see you again? 

February 13, 2014

halfway through the journey (:

i'm halfway through the journey.
today is my week 20. I have another 20 more weeks to go. 

the baby is actively wiggling inside my tummy. 
at first, I felt ticklish. but when he keeps wiggling, I found it fun, enjoyable, and most of all, memorable. 
I like when he keeps moving. It makes me feels that he is there. 

it was a priceless moment I have ever felt in the journey of being a mother. 

wiggle more baby. 
mommy loves it. 

happy tears,

February 8, 2014

we never know what the future holds.

It is the 7th week of school days.
but why do I feel like I have been working for 7 years. Although sighing is not good, but I sigh everyday. Maybe I sigh every time when I feel tired.

I drive as far as 90km every Sunday morning, sometimes on a Saturday morning. Roughly, I have to spend 1 hour and 30 minutes just to sit alone in the car and cruise through the dark road. That's a torture to me especially when my tummy is getting bigger and bigger.

Early in the morning, I have even wished to get a back massage or at least a back rub. That's so wrong. I don't feel healthy to have such a wish. Sometimes, I do feel jealous towards some lucky people whose workplace is just a stone-throw away.

Today, I heard a news that my school will be involved in a 'trust school' programme. An achievement? NO. I would prefer to think that we are more actually a lab rat. Many rumours saying it demands extremely high commitment from the school especially from the teachers. I would surrender if I ever had given a chance.

I know I won't be able to devote myself to my work...for I long and yearn to be by my husband's side. All I wish is to get to live under the same roof with him, eat the same meal with him, sleep on the same bed with him, every single day.

what will happen to me?

February 6, 2014

have I told you?

have I told you lately
that I love you? 

have I told you 
that I love you to the moon & back? 
that I love you as far as the eyes can see and beyond? 
that I love you juta-juta lemon? 

have I told you
that I miss you so bad?
have I told you 
that I miss you like crazy? 
have I told you lately 
that I miss you setengah mati? 

do you know? 

do you know that
I count each day to meet you again? 
do you know that
I always dream about you? 
do you know that 
not a single second passes by without me thinking of you? 

do you ever know that 
I actually
hum songs you like when I am driving?
sing our songs when bathing?
run everytime I hear my phone rings?
jump when I know the holiday will be long?

and do you know that 
my heart goes munge-munge when I saw your name appears on my phone's screen? 
my heart skips a beat when you're being romantic? 
my heart melts when you care about the littlest things? 

that's how I fill my day without you. 
mm..maybe more likely
how my day turns out without you. 

so now dah tahu kan?
sila call & text me more & selalu balik lama-lama please..? 

perindu husband,

how do I react when I knew there is a bun in the oven?

today I nak share about my feelings masa mula-mula dapat tahu I preggy. 

husband & I sempat lah honeymoon dalam 3-4 months (lebih kurang lah) after married. and husband pon keluarkan statement he wants a kid. I pon prepare myself lah kononnya. 

after dah missed first cycle of menstruating, perasaan munge-munge dah ada dah. tapi mula-mula buat UPT sendiri, result nya negative. agak frustrated di situ. I gagah kan juga untuk buat UPT at nearby private clinic. mula-mula nampak 1 line je, terus I tarik muka. 

tiba-tiba, jeng. jeng. jeng.
doc cakap 'Congrats! You're pregnant. Now, it's 6 week & 3 days. So, you can't eat this, you must eat that, blablablabla...' 

to be frank, I tak ingat dah doc pesan apa. Excited sampai nak tertonggeng lah kiranya nak share the great news dengan husband.

masa doc cakap 'Congrats' je, rasa macam nak lompat-lompat je. nak joget-joget. nak guling-guling. mau nya tak happy. gila kau. happy lah! sebab rasa dapat tunaikan permintaan besar suami & terus rasa macam isteri mithali gitew. hahah boleh? 

lepas tu balik rumah, senyum saje. I rasa time tidur pon I senyum kot. masa tu tengah counting days nak balik KL sebab year end school holidays dah dekat. hari-hari terakhir kat sekolah yang tak best tu dipenuhi dengan senyuman juga. hehe gedik. 

anyway, I felt really grateful and I thanked God for giving us the most wonderful thing ever happens to a married couple. 


February 4, 2014

first time he saw the baby on the screen.

I went for my monthly checkup yesterday morning. I felt extremely happy because husband was able to accompany me since he was still on his holiday.

This is his first time meeting my friendly doctor. He was so thrilled when he saw the baby on the 4D image on the screen. I can see his face vividly. He was clearly smiling ear-to-ear. The doctor showed him our baby's body parts and he couldn't blink his eyes. I saw the happiness on his face. He listened to our baby's heartbeats. Doctor said my baby is healthy, likes to kick (but I can't feel it because he is still small), very active. I thanked God for that.

But husband had to leave for KL after lunch. In the midst of happiness, I felt sad. He hugged me, rubbed my tummy, and spoke to our baby. I think that's cute.

Now, I'm counting days to meet him again.

i miss you sayang,

January 26, 2014

the first gift for the baby, with love. (:

today my husband went to a baby expo at mid valley. how i wish i could go together. but distance, or particularly my work is such a bitch. our goal was to get a stroller for my little bun.

many said that it is not really necessary to buy one. but some did encourage us to get one. and we think, we absolutely need one because we love going out. at first, we're confused in allocating how much should we spend for a stroller.

after doing some surveys, there were a few that caught our eyes. both of us were indirectly showed that we are actually very much emphasised on the design. malu-malu lagi lah. konon nak try to accommodate each other's feeling. we opt for a slim and easy to operate stroller.

combi offered us a good deal at the expo. husband kept sending me a few models on sale. however, the handle of the stroller turns we off. we like the idea of reversible handle but my husband thinks that it is not necessary for he wants our kid to 'see' the world. so, we put combi in kiv list.

maclaren techno xt has all the features that we looked for. but the price can't go any lower as they came out with a new design, claimed the promoter. i like the wheels. i like how macho it looks. i like the idea of having suspensions to resist a bumpy ride. i would like to sleep with it for a night if it is a human being.

being a brand-concious, husband is more of a fan of peg-perego because it is made in italy. he introduced this brand to me. the first model that i saw is a pliko mini. i think i fell in love with it. i've been eyeing this handsome stroller since then. i googled. i watched the videos. i read the reviews. but the price is more expensive than maclaren. but...i like how neat it looks when it is folded. how handy it is. how sleek it is. how light it is. it offers so many fabric designs as well.

and surprisingly today, husband got a good deal too at the expo. do you know how thrill i was?

and so, he got the catch. it was a peg-perego pliko mini neon. love at the first sight can never be wrong. *wink* i have no regret spending for this stroller. i hope my little bun will fall in love with it too.

a happy mommy-to-be,

January 22, 2014

of life & death

i was admitted to the hospital last couple of days because i was suspected to be having an appendicitis.

it was all started with a severe stomachache. i can't even move or my tummy can;t even be touched. i threw up terribly, twice. i slept with my mom that night so that it will be easier for her to monitor me.

when i went to the clinic, the doctor came out with 3 assumptions which all were extremely sad to be heard. at that time, all i could think is the baby. i shed tears a few times thinking of the baby and how much i yearn for my husband to be around me. a long needle went in and out of my vein to stop the pain. but nothing worked. so i was referred to the hospital.

the journey in the ambulance was a nightmare. it bounced like hell and it hurts my tummy like hell too. i was sent to the gynae first to check up my baby. and there she/he was. alhamdulillah...my baby is healthy. i clearly heard the baby's heartbeat and saw the heart beats.

after a night at the hospital, the pain went away. i was so eager to go home but the doctor asked me to stay for another night.

alhamdulillah. i was discharged on the next day. husband fetched me and he gave me a big hug and planted a kiss on my forehead.

i feel lucky because nothing is serious and i hope i will stay healthy.
but i lost my monthly checkup card and it is somehow made me feel a little pissed off.

feeling grateful,

January 9, 2014

the first step is always to google.

after the first trimester, baru lah I start survey-survey barang for baby. ada lah jumpa checklist for newborn. siap ada categories for budget lagi : low, medium, high. 

since my cousin just delivered a baby, she was so busy looking for an electric breastpump. so, the first thing I survey was a breastpump. I pon googled lah to gain knowledge for myself gitew. baru lah I got familiar with the brands our Malaysia market has to offer. 

ada yang manual, ada yang guna electric, ada yang guna battery. 

kalau ikut taste I, harus I pilih medela kan. hehe
sebab its quality has been proven. most reviews showed positive feedbacks. ada juga feedbacks yang kurang best yang menyebabkan I think twice or thrice nak beli medela ni. tapi that kind of feedbacks are very little. kira bolehlah tutup sebelah mata. okay, nak jugak tu! 

tengah syiok-syiok googling, tengok video demo, baru teringat nak tengok price. haa...hamek kau! terus besar eyeball iols. sama harga dengan handbag coach kau. mampoo? 

I fikir banyak kali jugak lah, perlu ke nak spend big for a breastpump ni? 

tapi sebab I gigih sangat, I tetap masukkan this thing dalam things-to-buy list. berangan itu harus, sebab boleh jadi macam our drive to achieve it. chewah. 

pastu, I pon share lah dengan my mom about breastpump ni. dia kata memanglah breastpump mahal because it demands apa entah dia dok cerita panjang lebar. mana ada barang baby murah dah laa ni. 

tapi tiba-tiba, dia kata. takpelah, kamu tak payah beli. nanti mak bagi hadiah breastpump. punyalah I happy sebab I didn't see that coming at all! tapi mak kata standby dua-dua. satu electric satu manual. kemain kau... 

I pon called husband informed kat dia. (weekend husband and wife macam ni lah, nak discuss or nak share, kena call..) 
husband kata segan lah mak nak beli, biarlah dia beli. tapi mak tetap nak beli sebab dia kata ni hadiah and mak pesan kat dia, belikan I yang manual punya je. haha 

but thanks a lot, mak! 

maka...I pon dah ready lah untuk terima si electric medela and untuk beli si manual avent.  tapi tak beli lagi...sebab awal lagi. banyak lagi barang lain nak survey ni.