September 24, 2010

moments of glorious embarrassment

How irony is that? Embarrassment is never a glory.

I have faced some moments of embarrassment in my life. Sometimes, it was funny that I laughed to myself that it happened. I know you would laugh too.
That’s doesn’t complete my life.Denial of my dignity happened to me, too. I knew how it feels. I know how much it hurts.

For a little non-verbal action I did, I’ve ever got a slap in a restaurant full of unknown people and some that I knew. I was dragged out from that place by the hair. A hard push hit my back when I was almost at the exit door. How’s that sound?

How about this one?
I remembered of another time, I received a spit on an escalator. A spot of human saliva covered my chest. It was also because a tiny action I did which I think I don’t deserve to be punished that way. Every eye was on me and all I can do was held back my tears.

I know that this is not the only denial of dignity I’ve ever received. There are so many people I knew out there who may or already turn my pride down behind my back, in words form, I should add. Some do it under a state of a conscious mind and some may do it unrealized.

For all those moments I have got, I never get revenge. Yes, I got a little mad after it happened but it flew away with time shortly. I don’t punish whoever gave me that moment of embarrassment, whether I love them or not. I don’t know if I was wrong or I was too kind doing so. Perhaps, I feel doing the same makes me no better than the person.

Well I know that this happens to all of us. And I am sure that all of us do the same to one another regardless our gender and age.

Yes. I did it last night unconsciously. The worst part is, to the person I love. I was too emotional to win. too tired to think. too stupid to realized. Above of all, it seemed oblivious to me.

Yes. I received the consequence straight away too. It is way too harsh. It is full of meanness. I apologized. I begged and I plead. Though, no matter how I repent, ignorance is still bliss.

With tears, I’m signing off.


September 20, 2010

genie oh genie, please grant my wishes!

ahh..lamenye tak blogging.

i want to move into a better shelter in sahalam - the natural sauna city.
i want have a television and an astro installed. oh,a dvd player too.
i want air-conditioner in my bedroom too.
can i just have my jb's house in here?

i wish it rains everyday.
or at least, everyday is a cloudy day.
so, i don't sweat on my way to classes and thus, not to worry how messy i look like when i arrived at the faculty.

i wish make-ups can put themselves on my face by themselves.
so i save my time before i go out.

i wish i have lots of cash in my purse.
so i can go wherever i want and do whatever i like (shopping-till-i-drop to be exact) when i dont have better things to do at home.

i wish i have a personal driver.
so i dont have to bare this back aching caused by driving.
or maybe i have an auto-piloted car. hee~

i wish i could go for full body massage twice a month.
manicure and pedicure too, not forgotten.

i wish i am not a student anymore.

i wish my brain works faster than now.
so i can finish all the assignments with good qualities in a short amount of time.
therefore i have plenty of time to have fun.

i wish i can get all this now..
at this moment...yes.

want it all,