December 23, 2013

Bandung Escapade

it has been a while since our last escapade. since i've started working, got married, stayed in a distance, we found it hard to get a time doing thing that we like most. travelling. 

but mom has given 2 tickets to bandung for honeymoon trip as our wedding gift but I think it's funny. why? because she and my dad and my auntie's family will be joining as well. honeymoon sangat! 
luckily, we still have our own room. hahah. 

the trip was fun. it was our first international vacation as a husband & wife. at that time, my little bun was only 2 months old. masa ni belum mabuk teruk lagi. still enthusiastically shopping and eagerly sightseeing at all the places Bandung has to offer my pockets and my eyes. 

bought a few laces and cotton cloth with cheap price. husband got himself 9 shirts and 2 pants. banyak gila! dia lagi galak shopping dari perempuan. 

the only thing that turned me off at Bandung is the food. the taste couldn't suit my tastebud. all foods are sweet. even if it's called spicy soup. you'd feel like you're eating sweets literally. every food tastes so wrong for me. but the avocado juice is absolutely great. 

anyway, it was a great experience. to ride an 'angkutan kota', gave some tips to the 'pengamin', enioy night ride on a trishaw with sayang. and the best memory was at The Stone Cafe. 

the ambience, the view, the food, and above all else, the companion I had that night, was mind-blowing & breathtaking. 

si traveller,

October 16, 2013

one year passed by.

i've been here for one year. 
and i've learnt so many things. 

i came here reluctantly. but i came here in hope this place will strengthen my faith, make me a better person, and take me closer to Allah. 

but some people here just proved me wrong. they are full with hatred and jealousy.

they point finger and only recognize my weaknesses. they deny my strength. they create stories. they did everything to show that i am the BAD one. i'm not a perfect human, i'm full of flaws but i'm learning. 

living in a society, there are times we have to put fake smiles. and you crush that smile 10 times harder. and that makes 100 times harder for me to accept it. 

hating the people i work with,
an educator. 

October 9, 2013

moving in


a happy weekend wife,

October 8, 2013

one year

one year.
at this place.
still adjusting.
still in denial.

one year. 
at this place.
still complaining 
about the very same things.

one year.
at this place.
discover new perspectives.
reflected on the saints.

one year.
at this place. 
some parts of me have changed.
some remain. 

one year.
at this place. 
never once,
i taste satisfaction. 

October 6, 2013

at its roughest

this path is at its roughest. 
the cold wind is taking over. 
but i'll be waiting. 

in vain, 

October 4, 2013

In Love Again

he is by my side. 
and i sleep in his arms. 
once again, 
i'm in love. 

he is right next to me.
so close i can hear his heartbeats.
once again, 
i'm in love. 

i just wanna be this close to him. 
i don't want to leave this bed. 
i wish time paused at this moment. 
cos i'm in love. 
in love again. 

yours truly,

October 3, 2013

I Still Believe

You look in my eyes 
And I get emotional inside
I know it's crazy 
But you still can touch my heart
And after all this time 
You'd think that I 
I wouldn't feel the same
But time melts into nothing 
And nothing's changed 

I still believe 
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again
I had a dream 
Someday you and me
Will find ourselves in love again 

Each day of my life
I'm filled with all the joy I could find
You know that I 
I'm not the desperate type 
If there's one spark of hope 
Left in my grasp 
I'll hold it with both hands 
It's worth the risk of burning 
To have a second chance 

No no no no no no 
I need you baby 
I still believe that we can be together
If we believe that true love never has to end 
Then we must know that we will love again. 

October 1, 2013

For Him, the one and only.

it's october. 
so many things have changed. 
especially myself. 

i am now a wife. a wife who shares her life with the husband in distance. 
who would have thought i ended my bachelorette life at the age of 25. and who would have thought i got to live with my husband separately. 

i cherish the time we spend only on weekends and i always treasure for more. but, this kind of journey is beyond my nightmare. most of the time in this journey is lonely. 
this journey is almost empty. 

strong as it seems, deep inside, 
i am sinking in. 
so many emotions overwhelm in my heart, 
shaking my faith. 

i am here, struggling.
just to hold on.
for him, the one and only.


August 22, 2013

I write when I miss my husband

distance means nothing,
when you're everything,
but it's human nature,
can't bear repetitive torture.

nothing more a wife could ask,
nothing more a lover would seek,
a happy home and running kids,
a passionate kiss and fondness without a leak.

sleepless nights without familiar lullaby,
the same prayer and wish i recite,
for every day and night passes by,
my husband will be by my side.

never pinch the heart,
never let the tears shed,
paint it with colours like an art,
flourish it with sweetness as desired. 

beautiful as it is described, 
no one knows where it hides,
towards heaven i wanna glide, 
with my husband as my guide. 

yours forever,

July 14, 2013


dear kids,
it was our 3rd anniversary. he wanted to celebrate it before the date changes. everything was planned by him, and i am beyond happy being treated like a princess all day long. 

he rented a suite for me on that day. 
he took a lot of my photos. 
he played with my hair and held my hand tightly. 
he picked the dress for me. 
he was super duper sweet and i fell for him over and over again on that day.

later at night, 
he took me to a fine dining in KL. the ambience was amazingly stunning. i thought i was in france. the food was marvellous. the surprise, it blew up my mind.

we had a date. a candle light dinner date. a bit old fashion but thats what being shown in most of the romantic movies, yes? 

suddenly, a waiter came, presented me a slice of tiramisu cake on a plate. i saw the sparkle of the firework that looked like a candle. and the waiter whispered "please read the message, ma'am." 

and there it was, beautifully written on the plate with chocolate dust, 

"will you marry me?" 

oh. my. God. he proposed! officially! 

he took the diamond ring stuck in the strawberry on top of the cake, and fitted it to my finger. i couldn't stop smiling that my jaw hurted and my cheek bone cramped. 

yes, i shed tears. definitely, happy tears. Alhamdulillah... 

June 20, 2013


i miss my friends.
i miss A.
i miss Z.
i miss A.
i miss M.
above all else.

i miss him.
i miss S so bad. T.T

wanna turn back time,

January 8, 2013

Who Said Being A Teacher Is As Easy As ABC?

I never thought that being a teacher will be this hard. The hardship that no one can ever imagine until you walk in a teacher’s shoes.

I have always love English subject, since I was a kid. And to be offered to be a part of TESL-ians is like a little girl got a bundle of candies. The walk in the park was not last long. For a moment, I forgot that I was offered a scholarship by the Ministry of Education and I have signed a contract to serve them for 5 years.

Everything turns out into a nightmare when I have to go for interim period at this one particular school. A sudden change of the school (I was told I had to go to a school nearby my house at first...), be it the environment, the location, the culture, really de-motivated myself. I have lost my passion towards teaching, not that I had one before this, but I thought it can be inculcated if I give myself a chance. However, interim period shows me no mercy. It denies my drive.

I was placed at an islamic school which previously governed by the state government and just recently the government took over all of this type of schools in Johore. We call this type of schools as Sekolah Agama Bantuan Kerajaan (SABK). Yes, it is as you thought it is. Lack of facilities, poor condition of the current buildings, secluded, you name it. In terms of the students, I could not say much. It is worse than I thought. How well could low and average proficiency level of students handle 20 subjects in 2 streams? You tell me. Some of them behave pretty well, some are very rude, and most of them are mute in front of me.

This school has no quarters for teachers since all the teachers are locals and their houses are within reach in, the most, 20 minutes. And because of that, I have to temporarily stay at the warden’s house in which is a part of the hostel, located at the very end of the hostel building. It was old, rusty, dusty, and gloomy. I have to share room with the warden and there goes my privacy. The only space that I can call my own, is now perished.

And now, the school holiday is over. It is 2013. I was given 28 periods in a week and I have to be a classroom teacher, for the last class of first former. School session starts as early as 7.30 in the morning and ends at 4 in the evening, except for Friday. I teach 8 classes and all are lower forms. Since PMR will be abolished starting next year, I have to conduct PBS which has 6 stages for each of the 8 classes. I have to write down my lesson plan everyday and submit it to my principal every Friday. At nights, I have to prepare materials to teach my students or I have to mark my students’ homeworks (if any of them submit it to me). I can’t use powerpoint presentation to teach for there is no electricity outlet in the class, so I have to draw or print out and paste the picture on a cardboard. Sometimes, I have to use my own money to photocopy all the handouts, task sheets, and passages since my school doesn’t offer that service. My Saturdays are usually will be stolen for some seminars, talks, meetings, and things as such. Not to mention, I have to conduct (including preparing the questions and marking the papers) monthly test as well as mid-term and final exams.

The saddest part is, I can’t be myself at school. I can’t make friends (I tried but I failed) and so I don’t have friends at school. I am homeless. I don’t eat and live well here. My basic need as a human life is not fulfilled. And so, my life is kinda pathetic at the moment.



January 3, 2013

Back To School 2013

here i am, still in this school.
the place where all my nightmares begin.

i was given 28 periods in a week. 26 periods are English, meanwhile the other 2 periods are for Civic Education. altogether i teach 8 classes and that means i have 6 classes to do the PBS thingy. HOMAIGOD, what the hell have i gotten myself into?

today was the most tiring day i have ever had since i am in the school. i have 5 classes to enter every thursday, double periods each. it was beyond than i can imagine. i went back and forth the office building, went up and down the stairs, talked and yelled, repeatedly. i am tired.
i dont know how long could i hold on.
i am just tired...