February 9, 2010

Chapter Closed : Part I

What I am going to write is a sad love story. A chapter in my life.

Some understand about the whole episode.
Many know parts of it.
Lots are aware that there is a history.

But only few know everything.
Perhaps the characters in this tale,
…she, him and I.

Some observed. Some ignored.
Many cared. Only little involved.

I never thought to write or give any comments for what had happened. I never planned to.
But today, I feel like writing. I feel like summarizing.
It hurts, for sure. It is painful, of course.

I am naïve. I am innocent. I believed that every story has a happy ending.
At the age of eighteen, I found this love. A love that shaped what I am today.
Like an angel (without the wings), so pure and so clean, I had devoted myself to this love.
I went through the most vital growing up phase; a phase of transition from a guiltless teenager to a matured young adult, with this love around.
I forgot what independent mean. I forgot what distant mean. I forgot what individual mean.
My world revolved around him.
He has become my better half. He has become my habit. He has become my everything.
Always have and forever will.

After almost 4 years, hope has sprung a perfect dive.
A dream of happy ending sunk. A bright future submerged.
He suddenly had to leave. Like a fatherless-sibling-less-4-year-old girl who is going to lose her mother, that is how I feel. I don’t know where do I go or nor I know what I should do.
This is beyond what I expected or rather hoped it to be. It conceded my defeat. It shattered my world. It broke my heart. It pulled out the plug of my life.

He is now no longer I meet on one-to-one basis. I just heard his name from my other friends. Of course it hurts knowing he is reachable but unable to be in contact but that’s fine. This is what fate wants me to learn;

love mustn’t have to own

This is what fate has decided for me.

This chapter is closed.

yours truly,