DL, don't go...

tomorrow..
i'm gonna sit for PTE final paper.

by now,
i don't know what i have in mind.
have i prepared?
am i ready?
i don't know.
seriously...

maybe i think too much about my pointer.
to stay in DL is what i want.
but for this semester, i can't tell.
the vision is so blurry.

bad feeling..bad feeling is inside..

too many things had happened.
it was a tragedy, i should add.
as much as i try to avoid it,
i know it had affected my studies.

it demotivates me.

*sigh*


hate when i can't focus,
nfhms.

against all odds

Some things are better left unspoken
I couldn’t agree more
Though, there are things that need to be told for its later consequences could be more harmful.

After all the days of despair
I never hope to see the rainbow again
Because I know,
The rainbow comes just to slip away.

It pinched my heart.

I am now dancing on broken glass
I realized I couldn’t hold the pain

I started to think of what I have
And to think that this chance I nearly lost
I feel like giving up

So I am holding on to your words;
This feeling is mutual
And I am willing to wait
For things to be real..

Take your time
Because,
In this agony
I still found a little happiness…



yours truly,
nfhms.

a weekend to remember

the scenic view of KL tower captured my eyes.
i sat there on the couch with few companions.
chill…i like being at high places.
the attic or whatever you may call it, is damn pretty.
the lines of japanese bamboos are so green.
it made me feels almost like home.

never have i thought that,
that night outing gonna be that fun. gonna be to that extend.
doing something unplanned,
when we thought it was already late. we made it happened.

it freaks me in a way,
but presented me pleasure in many ways. (:
it is a guilty pleasure.

well,

nothing much i did on Saturday.
but stayed at home,
rolling on the bed. tumbling to left and right. from morning to night.
yes, i rolled in excitement.

it is a Saturday, April 10th.
the one that i must remember.
i will always remember…

last Sunday was really a Sunday.
i mean it.

i took the ride with a smile.
i smiled along the journey. ngee~ :D

hearing the sound of water lapping,
made my heart jumps like a monkey gets a lorry of bananas.

that is what i have longed for…
fresh and cool. relax and beautiful.
that’s the beauty of nature.

i got wet. she got wet. they got wet.
we splashed the water and drenched each other.
two fell, two almost carried by the river.
two laughed because another two shivered.
and
a frog watched the whole scene.

the journey continued.
and i was still smiling…

colmar tropicale is beautiful.
made me feel like a character in the fairytales.
we climbed up the tower and we went down the stairs.
we snap! snap! snap!
till we realized to have a sit is relieving.

soon i had to part.
distance is not my favorite. haish…
i tighten up the grasp; refused to let go.
but i had to
and so, i carved a reluctant smile.

though…

it is, indeed,
a weekend to remember.


weekend lover,
nfhms.

full stop

when you put all the chaos a full stop,
i might have made a promise
to be waiting and wanting.
and
i might have made a promise
to accept the come back, anytime.

i have to agree
that i have been such a fool.
to believe in uncertain chances.
to remain as angelic as the angels.
to care about others' feelings and
being so ignorant to mine.

i am ashamed to admit
up till this extend,
i still put others before me.
scared if i ever hurt their feelings.
fear of making them sad and dissappointed.

maybe i am a devoted worshiper to the love i have for you
still and always will
that i always feel responsible to your mess
and try to untie the tangles that others create
regardless what costs me.

as time passing by,
i learnt.

maybe now it is the time
let me put one too.
a full stop.



the rain will stop
when the sky has no more tears.

the leaves will fall
when its stem gets rot and old.

this feeling stays true
let it be there, let it be a statue.
hush there...
a feeling to remember.

this feeling doesn’t want any chance
it wants you to keep on the run.

don’t come back
because
you can’t be faithful.

don’t give me another promise
because
you never keep one.

stop hurting me..

this is the ending.
you put a full stop.
it is a full stop.
it means, enough…


yours from the past,
nfhms.

p/s: *praying hard for your happiness*

miss you already

i missed you.

i have missed you.

i miss you.

i am missing you.

i will miss you.

always have.always will.


p/s: i hate to see your back.





yours truly,
nfhms.

..panda eyes..

hell week is on screen.

it is 5:49 am.

i am here,
sitting and typing this journal with panda eyes
and a can of alicafe. ;p

aches and ouchies are everywhere.
waist.neck.shoulder. name it!

test after test.
assignment after another.
i myself got confused with them. @.@

• PTE replacement test 2 : checked


• Meetings test 2 : checked


• Korean Speaking, Listening, Writing test : postponed


• PTE submission of test construction : checked


• MTLS Microteaching : today, 70% ready.

i have 15 minutes of microteaching, today.
mathematically, my turn takes place at 12.00 pm.

*nervous*


my microteaching materials

my room is a mess.
it is a beautiful mess.
nah..i'm lying.
it is a total massive mess. =.='



si tak suke sepah-sepah,
nfhms.