one year passed by.

i've been here for one year. 

and i've learnt so many things. 

i came here reluctantly. but i came here in hope this place will strengthen my faith, make me a better person, and take me closer to Allah. 

but some people here just proved me wrong. they are full with hatred and jealousy.

they point finger and only recognize my weaknesses. they deny my strength. they create stories. they did everything to show that i am the BAD one. i'm not a perfect human, i'm full of flaws but i'm learning. 

living in a society, there are times we have to put fake smiles. and you crush that smile 10 times harder. and that makes 100 times harder for me to accept it. 

hating the people i work with,

an educator. 

moving in

i

am 

excited

because

we

are

moving

into 

a 

new

house

this 

weekend! 

a happy weekend wife,

FMS 

one year

one year.

at this place.

still adjusting.

still in denial.

one year. 

at this place.

still complaining 

about the very same things.

one year.

at this place.

discover new perspectives.

reflected on the saints.

one year.

at this place. 

some parts of me have changed.

some remain. 

one year.

at this place. 

never once,

i taste satisfaction. 

at its roughest

this path is at its roughest. 

the cold wind is taking over. 

but i'll be waiting. 

in vain, 

FS

In Love Again

he is by my side. 

and i sleep in his arms. 

once again, 

i'm in love. 

he is right next to me.

so close i can hear his heartbeats.

once again, 

i'm in love. 

i just wanna be this close to him. 

i don't want to leave this bed. 

i wish time paused at this moment. 

cos i'm in love. 

in love again. 

yours truly,

FS 

I Still Believe

You look in my eyes 

And I get emotional inside

I know it's crazy 

But you still can touch my heart

And after all this time 

You'd think that I 

I wouldn't feel the same

But time melts into nothing 

And nothing's changed 

I still believe 

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again

I had a dream 

Someday you and me

Will find ourselves in love again 

Each day of my life

I'm filled with all the joy I could find

You know that I 

I'm not the desperate type 

If there's one spark of hope 

Left in my grasp 

I'll hold it with both hands 

It's worth the risk of burning 

To have a second chance 

No no no no no no 

I need you baby 

I still believe that we can be together

If we believe that true love never has to end 

Then we must know that we will love again. 

For Him, the one and only.

it's october. 

so many things have changed. 

especially myself. 

i am now a wife. a wife who shares her life with the husband in distance. 

who would have thought i ended my bachelorette life at the age of 25. and who would have thought i got to live with my husband separately. 

i cherish the time we spend only on weekends and i always treasure for more. but, this kind of journey is beyond my nightmare. most of the time in this journey is lonely. 

this journey is almost empty. 

strong as it seems, deep inside, 

i am sinking in. 

so many emotions overwhelm in my heart, 

shaking my faith. 

i am here, struggling.

just to hold on.

for him, the one and only.


loner,
NFHMS