BAE

stands for before anyone else. 

you are and gonna always be my bae. 

b. 

do you miss me?

everytime you leave

i wish for nothing but 

for you to come back 

when you aren't there

i wish for nothing but

for you to be there 

when you are busy 

i wish for nothing but

for you to spend some time with me

when you dont smile

i wish for nothing but

for you to give me the sweetest smile 

when i am lonely

i wish for nothing but

for you to hug me 

when i cry

i wish for nothing but 

for you to wipe away my tears 

when i am on the edge of breaking down

i wish for nothing but

for you to hold you 

above all 

i wish you miss me like how i miss you 

b 

that's how i'll be

look at the rose everyday

look at how it dies slowly

for without you

that's how i'll be 

b 

no title

a victim of circumstances

in those circumstances i was found guilty

clips, broken

clips.

attached you to me. 

clips. broken.

you flew away. 

fs. 

fav

Careless Whisper by George Michael

I feel so unsure

As I take your hand

And lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen

And all it's sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Though it's easy to pretend

I know you're not a fool

I should've known better than to cheat a friend

And waste a chance that I've been given

So I'm never gonna dance again

The way I danced with you

Time can never mend

The careless whispers of a good friend

To the heart and mind

Ignorance is kind

There's no comfort in the truth

Pain is all you'll find

Tonight the music seems so loud

I wish that we could lose this crowd

Maybe it's better this way

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say

We could have been so good together

We could have lived this dance forever

But now who's gonna dance with me

Please stay

Now that you've gone

Now that you've gone

Now that you've gone

Was what I did so wrong

So wrong that you had to leave me alone

hmm..

i've missed you. 

not in a we're-going-to-make-out way. 

not in a i-forgive-you way. 

just i've-missed-you way. 

a cold night and a million thoughts of you

one cold night 

i took a ride 

cruised around 

and passed by our hideouts 

so i drove slow

i saw us through the glass windows

i thought i would be weeping

but no, i was smiling

b. 

everyday kinda thing

you are my everyday kind of thing

perks me up when nothing does

now that you're gone

my days are incomplete

empty as the dessert

you are my everyday kind of thing

now that you're gone

my day ends unsettled 

you consume my thoughts 

sure that i'm not in yours at all

you are my everyday kind of thing

everything i do it has been all about you

though now you're gone 

you are still my everyday kind of thing 

cause you are in my mind all day long. 

b. 

sleeping on a wet pillow

sombre mood slips in

between me and this sheet

my days are empty

my nights are long 

i wail with sorrow 

but levitates my heart soar

as scenes, flicker vividly

b. 

what you want matters, but what you need is more important.

i cupped my hands to recite du'a and i shut my eyes, tight. as i uttering my humble words, i feel couple of tears dropped on my palm. i started to stutter. my voice hardly came out from my throat. i've wet my cheeks. tears rolled, i couldn't hold back. i ended up curling on my praying mat, crying so hard. 

b. 

in between :/

it was quite a blow. but it is the truth, even fate cant deny or change it.

but i cant change my nature either.

things have taken its toll on me. now, i am standing in between sad and happy. 

happiness in agony, misery in happiness.

overlapping with one another and always leaving me confused and lost. 

but i want to be in it. 

i couldnt take even a step away. 

i am pretty much broken. 

fixing it up and end up broken still. 

but i thank you for being apart of patching up my broken self.

might mean nothing to you but meant everything to me. 

b. 

remember me

time changes everything except something within us

no matter how things change, 

and whatever we have now,

time always leaves its shadow behind. 

anywhere you are, wherever you go, 

everytime you tryna find what time is it

i want you to think of me

cos i, 

never a second in my life, have not thought of you. 💕

remember me,

b. 

heat stroke? not...

hmm 

i was diagnosed stress recently. 

well i thought im doing ok. apparently im not. 

plus with the heat, my body doesnt tolerate much of it. 

if this prolongs, it could lead to depression. 

i'm started to reconsider to stay as a teacher. hmm 

what cause all these, seriously? 

hmm.. 

to when you were there

all or nothing

everytime i see you.. 

you don't know how my adrenal glands are producing so much epinephrine that is taking over my body this very second, making my blood vessels constrict, my heart pumping blood rapidly and my lungs take in air at a higher rate. every cell of my body is calling out your name & i am paradox. i am so alive but i feel like dying.

why..

i don't understand why you have so much control over my emotions, you make me feel so much while you probably feel nothing.

nothing, 

© 

adjskajshfkasldjsk

fcking terribly affected by this .. 

ajsjdksldkdjdkdkskds

dont die just yet

hidup ni memang palat,

tapi esok masih ada. 

kalau kau hidup lagi lah esok.

sebenarnya yang betul-betul kau ada ialah SEKARANG. 

spark off

what if it dies along the way?

you have no choice. 

you gotta live with it anyway.

yours truly,

conflicted heart. 

unstable af

today i feel like writing. 

a week has flown by slow. i feel like it has been ages since everything has changed. and i have been feeling lonely and empty ever since, frankly. 

i have been wondering of so many whys. and i'm figuring out still. what kind of test is this? most of all, i feel unfair when i dont have the chance to choose even at the first place. fate already did for me. 

i am unstable af now. i dont know how i will endure this alone. 

in those littlest things i secretly cherish, 

i still found happiness in this agony. 

although it would only last for 10 seconds before the reality slaps me, 

it matters. 

because you matter. 

love,

the one who used to get all of your attention

bae

you dont have any idea

how much i miss you.

i've been thinking of you alot.

even in my sleep..

b