i need drugs, seriously.

i began to hate myself.
seriously.

i should have known or able or strong enough to prioritize what needs to be priotized FIRST.
okay, i know this year started as a hell.
but i thought i can cope up with the shit by not mixing it up with my studies - that used to be the first priority in the priority list.

oh god.you gotta be kidding me.
am i affected this much?
how can it be this much?
and in return,
i just get this much?

wake up girl.wake up!

you need to prolong your attention span on the whiteboard and generate whats being teach.
what done is done.past remains as past.leave it behind.

the genesis begins.

a new semester.
a new center of attention.
same old girl.same old girl.

wants to stand up again.
wants to fight for what she's almost losing.


a fighter,
nfhms.

jewit kuhat-kuhat: aaaaaa!!!!

i’m a mess.
this is what i don’t like hate about DISTANCE.

DISTANCE:

enough words.
they just don’t work on me.

i want physical touch.
i want practical action.
i want tangible authentication.
something that i can see.touch.and feel.

i don’t like what i feel now.
i hate this feeling.

don’t tell me to sleep because i don’t need sleep.
don’t tell me to eat because i don’t want to eat.
don’t tell me to empty my mind because i can’t stop thinking.
don’t tell me to rest because i don’t need a rest.

all i need is you.
all i want is you.

you;
you are the poison.
you are the only remedy.

damn.


yours truly,
nfhms.

New Esctasy Addict

dear lostpinkdiary,

have you been well?

it has been long since my last update. I really miss talking to you my silent listener. It’s June, time really flies fast. It is really fast, I mean it.

at this moment,

some people might be sleeping. some might be having a nightmare and for some might be in their fantasy sweet dream. some might be talking crap on the phone. some might be pleasuring themselves with sexual intercourse with the one they love or most probably with someone they just knew 5 minutes ago. well, here I am. lying on the bed. alone. lonely. only. craving for him, to be with me.

yes, him.

some say move on and live your life. some presume moving fast shows you loved the one who left you less. some think you have learned to love yourself better and it is good and great and they even thank God when you get over it fast.

I fall into the second group, obviously. Anyway, I don’t really care what people think or say. To hell they may go if they dare to oppose where I am standing now.

referring to my quotation ‘happiness comes easily if you let it’, I couldn’t agree more. served me right for came out with it but unrealized-ly not believing in it and moron-ly not practicing it for the past few years. Lesson learned and I bet I am a better lover now.

to you, my new found love,
doubt me not, my love.
this feeling is new. this feeling is true.

have faith, my new ecstasy.
in me. in you. in us.
for i am addicted to you,
addicted to you perfectly.



forever yours,
nfhms.